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Not Everyone Likes Me, And That's Okay

I’m comfortable with myself enough now that I no longer need permission from others to be happy.

Aug 15, 2016

I’ve always been exceedingly paranoid. Always being afraid that I would mess up or things wouldn’t go as planned has often left me in panic. By that point, I wonder what is the point of trying, when no matter what I do it’ll be wrong anyways? However, I still tried. Too much. All of this brought out the extreme perfectionist in me. It came out in school, at work, and things like cleaning or doing errands. The hardest part of this was trying to please everyone. I couldn’t tell anyone no. I would act the way people expected me to act in all different situations. Having someone not like me was terrifying. I’ve spent so much wasted time worrying about whether or not someone likes me or is annoyed with me.

Most of the time, the people that are bothering to waste their time to talk bad about me, don’t matter in the most important parts of my life anyways. I always was the one to make sure I kept in touch with everyone. Friendships that were going to fall through in time anyways, I would fight to keep in contact, even if the other person didn’t ever reach out. I was so afraid to be alone that I would let everyone walk all over me without speaking up so that they wouldn’t have any reason to be angry with me. They always ended up being angry anyways, because the people I was doing this for were people who were never happy anyways.

It’s almost satisfying for me now when I know that people who don’t make any sort of positive impact on me don’t like me. It came with growing up. Sometimes it is important to mend relationships, but not with people who aren’t genuine. I’ve spent too much time trying to figure out why certain people don’t like me or say bad things about me, when I’ve done nothing but try and please them. Why bother to try so hard? It's not making them happy, and it certainly isn't making me happy. Not everyone is going to like me. It’s impossible. Different personalities aren’t meant to match with everyone else’s; we are all too unique. But knowing that the people that DO like me, actually like me because of who I am and not because I’ve exhausted myself to try and make them happy, feels so genuine. I’m comfortable with myself enough now that I no longer need permission from others to be happy. It’s freeing.

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Not Everyone Likes Me, And That's Okay

I’m comfortable with myself enough now that I no longer need permission from others to be happy.

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

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That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

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6. You are a college pro.

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8. You're happy you're still in school.

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10. You continue to grow.

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