I'm not engaged.

Sometimes this is really hard for me to accept. I'm doing everything correctly. I've got a boyfriend of five years. I'm going to school so that I can have a good job. I'm making mature decisions everyday. But it doesn't seem to speed up any kind of proposal.

Social media doesn't bring me any comfort in this area either. It's hard to watch people my own age, who have dated their significant other for considerably less time than me, get engaged and married. There are some days when I feel so upset by everyone announcing engagements and weddings on social media, that I have to tell myself not to even log on for a few days. It makes me feel rushed, or left behind. But what worth is there in rushing?

I'm reminded of the story of Jacob in Genesis 29. Jacob fell in love with his Uncle Laban's daughter, Rachel. He made a deal with Laban that he would work for him for seven years in exchange for marrying Rachel. In a strange twist of events, on Jacob's wedding night Laban gave him Rachel’s older sister Leah to marry instead of Rachel. Jacob was mad (understandably so), but Jacob agrees to work seven more years for Rachel’s hand in marriage. So in total, Jacob worked for 14 years to marry his dream girl. 14 YEARS, PEOPLE! But Genesis 29:20 says that the years Jacob worked for Rachel “seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.” (NKJV)

Do I love enough to be willing to work for 14 years? Or am I only focused on getting a ring to put on my left hand? My focus should not be on when I get engaged, but on how much I love. Loving will make the years seem like only a few days.

An engagement, a wedding, or even children will not define me. Those things should not bring me my identity. My identity needs to be firmly rooted in Christ. This is the only thing that will not waiver. My identity in Christ is not dependent on a piece of jewelry or the question “Will you marry me?” The only thing it depends on is Christ's free gift of salvation that He has given to me.