Too many times I've had guys shake their heads and walk away from me at parties, and too many times I've seen the same happen to my friends. As females, we deal with a lot of crap. We grow up, and we learn how to decide what is worth dealing with and what just needs to be ignored. Some of us have a good head on our shoulders and don't believe in wasting our time, whether it's relationships or choosing a dress color.
You're in a frat basement. This guy keeps talking to you, flirting, hugging you and trying to dance with you. You know he's an ass, and you know he's a player. So when he tries to kiss you, you back away and shake your head no. Try to look like you're sad, or at least sympathetic, about it. When he tries again and you firmly tell him no you hear "I'm just being nice, no need to be a b*tch" or the classic "What a b*tch."
You're with your friends. You know that one girl, in particular, doesn't really like you, but you try to be nice anyway. You talk to her, you're friendly, you even say hi. Then, when you tried to be at your kindest, the girl asks someone, "Why is she such a b*tch to me?" NEWS FLASH, I thought I was being really nice. I know you don't like me, I'm not your biggest fan either, but I will be civil.
I'm not a bitch, and if I was, I would admit it. Yes, I can be sassy. Yes, I sometimes get cranky and throw some shade. But no, I am not an awful person because I don't want to kiss you in a dirty basement. I am definitely not a nasty human because I don't go the extra mile for people I know don't like or care the least about me. Showing people how I really feel about things makes me honest, I won't apologize for that.
Women are made to feel bad for telling people no and for acting a way because that's how they truly feel. Men can be as big of a jerk to anyone they please, and that's fine. When women do it, it's shocking. It's taboo. It's bitchy. If saying what I believe, telling people when I'm uncomfortable, and not extending kindness to people who don't extend it to me makes me a bitch, then ok. Arrest me.
I am patiently waiting for the day when women can be totally free to do as they wish and speak their minds without being called a nasty version of a female dog. Women are not bitchy just because they feel like it. If a woman isn't being very kind to you, you likely did something to make her that way.
So, for now, let's have each other's backs. When your friend feels uncomfortable and a guy keeps pushing her, call him a little bitch. If your friend feels awkward and a girl keeps pushing him/her, call them out on it. If something feels wrong, leave. Life is made up of all these little decisions you're making now.
Use your judge of character. When you know something isn't right, follow your intuition. When you know someone is not in any way sparking your interest, walk away. Don't feel like an awful person just because you're speaking your mind and showing others how you feel.
We're not bitches, we just see through your crap. And we're over it.
