The last relationship I was in made me lose all faith in love. I hated anything and everything that had to do with it and I simply didn't believe it existed anymore. I would think how fortunate and lucky people who had it were. I believed that love was like finding a needle in a haystack.
You know what sucked? The person I was with and how he treated me is what led me to believe that love wasn't important or that it didn't exist. I ended up being with the wrong person but it taught me many things. I have learned so many lessons in one whole relationship. It took me a while to realize that I shouldn't have been treated the way I was treated. However, I got used to it. It is what I thought love was, but it wasn't - it was the complete opposite. The relationship I was in consisted of a lot of manipulation. He was a possessive person and I was too blind to realize how bad he was to me. It's true what they say, "love is blind." Before the relationship, I used to be extremely naïve. My world was rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes I still wish I was that carefree and lovable girl, but the relationship drained me.
Love yourself first. After a break-up, fall in love with yourself again. It's all about you. It's always been you.
The past year, I've grown to love myself. I changed for the better, of course. I'm not the same person as before, but I wanted happiness for myself. I went through a crappy relationship but that shouldn't keep me from being happy. It's in the past and it happened for a reason. I learned a lot of new things about myself, discovered what I wanted in future relationships, and what I look for in someone. My past shouldn't make me bitter, but instead, grateful. I'm grateful because without that, I wouldn't have known all the things I know today. I'm wiser because of it and I also realized that family and friends will always, always, be there for you. My family and close friends are my heart.
I asked myself, "what are you afraid of?" Someone hurt you physically and emotionally, can things get any worse? Or, they can get better and that's life, right? Sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better. Even if things get worse, you become wiser.
What I'm trying to say here is if you're someone who doesn't believe in love or just dislikes anything that has to do with the idea of liking someone because of what you've been through, it'll change. I hope it does. If you haven't already, realize what's important right now. Don't be bitter because of a person; you can't live in the past forever. You'll have your moments where you will compare to what you've been through and think that every person you meet is the same, but no one is the same. When you find love, and I hope you do, all the negative stuff that you thought about or have felt will like dust in the air. You'll look back and laugh and not regret going through everything because it might have led you to something great today.
Don't be afraid to love again.
