In life there are very few certainties and unfortunately, one of those certainties is that one day, in some way, someone will hurt us and we will be responsible for the healing.
When you've been hurt, when you've been broken up with, when you've seen your parents divorce ... you start to think that your baggage makes you damaged goods. You start to think that no one is going to want to be with the girl who is constantly worried about whether she can trust you or not even though you've never given her a reason not to. She wonders if her own relationship will end up just like her parents -- in divorce. She'll wonder if guys judge her for the fact that she's already been engaged and if that in some way, makes her undesirable.
If you've ever felt this way, like you're damaged goods - let me tell you a few things.
1. You are worthy of love.
You deserve a love that is unlike any other. You deserve to be adored. You deserve to experience love in all its forms - with your parents, your friends, and in your romantic relationships. You are worthy of love and love will find you when the time is perfect.
2. You are not what happened to you in your past.
My broken engagement seems to loom over my head constantly when I'm interested in a guy. Most people think, "why would he care about that?" But in my mind, I wonder why he wouldn't. I want the man I'm with to know that an engagement is special to me and unfortunately, that experience has been forever changed for me. But, that doesn't mean that I'm not worthy of marriage. In fact, my broken engagement was 100% not my fault. I'm not that broken engagement, nor am I defined by every guy I've dated who has cheated on me. Sure, these relationships have caused me to be skeptical when trusting someone. But, I'm not defined by any of those relationships. I never was. I never deserved to be cheated on or hurt in the way I was. They're a part of me but they don't tell you everything about me.
3. Have hope even when you would rather run far away.
Every now and then you find a guy who is worthy of taking a leap of faith for. Don't hold yourself back. Have hope in love and remember, you are worthy of love no matter what. You are never too damaged to love.
4. Be vulnerable.
Don't be afraid to let a guy see who you are and what scares you the most about relationships. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and real. A guy who truly loves you will love you more for the pain that you've been through. A guy who truly loves you will want to know how you've been hurt simply so he can show you much more you deserve to be loved. Be careful with your heart but be vulnerable, too. You deserve to have someone love all of you.
5. Give yourself a chance.
Last but not least, give yourself and the right guy a chance. Put yourself out there and allow yourself to fall in love and have someone fall deeply in love with you. It's going to be scary but I know it will be worth it.
You're never so damaged that you are no longer worthy of being loved. You may have baggage, scars, and stories to tell but none of that should keep you from having the love you deserve. Don't be your own worst critic. Give yourself a chance and let someone in when you feel he's worthy of your time and trust. You're perfect and capable of love. Just put yourself out there and remember, you are not defined by your past. You are worthy of love always.
