They come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They serve multiple purposes — however, they perform one main function. First and foremost, they are a source of food. They provide nutrients for a developing immune system, give antibodies to fight off viruses, and reduce the risk of short-term and long-term allergies. They also lower the risk of childhood cancers, obesity and diseases like type 1 and type 2 diabetes. They heal, they protect — how much more magical can these things get?
We all love boobies. But let’s face it, they don’t get the appreciation they deserve. I can speak firsthand as a proud owner of two perky little beauts. It is not easy. It is not easy because I don’t just have them to flaunt around, but I use them to feed my daughter. Sadly, a lot of people have serious issues against that.
You’ve probably witnessed the hype, particularly on social media, about normalizing public breastfeeding. Before I became a mother, I supported it. Now that I am a mother, I get to experience the joys… and the utter bull sh*t that comes with it. And it’s totally worth fighting for.
Check out this map of the U.S. In 49 states (what’s up, Idaho?), it’s legal to breastfeed wherever and whenever they want. But this doesn’t stop close-minded people from harassing and bashing mothers. It seems ridiculous for it to even be an issue of legal vs. illegal. It should just be. We’re not flashing our boobs and flopping them around. The baby’s mouth is on the nipple and the baby’s head covers the general area that people find so inappropriate to be shown. We are taught as early as we are able to comprehend that girls should cover up because it’s the “ladylike” thing to do. We are conditioned to feel ashamed if we show a little skin. We are scolded by the same people of this over-sexual culture that probably just went googly-eyed over the waitress that just leaned over to pour their coffee — the ones that also happen to glorify the almighty sexual fun-bags that appear in magazines, TV and movies.
Personally, most times people aren’t even aware that I’m breastfeeding until I reposition my daughter and pull my shirt down. The usual response is, “Wait — were you just breastfeeding? I had no idea,” followed by some odd expression of relief.
But don’t get me wrong. I have had my share of bathroom feedings, having to prop myself up on the sink counter or stand in a handicap stall, hunched over with a chunky baby in a sling made of my own two arms. Professional people really have the audacity to order mothers to feed their children in unsanitary bathrooms. Sometimes, no one has to make a comment. A simple expression like a smirk or a disapproving head shake makes me feel like I should be ashamed for what I’m doing — but only for a second. What keeps me going is the thought of my daughter crying and screaming for her “ba-boo” and drawing an even worse kind of attention. Despite the malicious stares and whispers, a mother should stand her ground. To non-parents with crazy, loving mothers: don’t act like they never had to deal with the backlash just to protect you and give you what you need. Even if it isn’t an issue of breastfeeding or bottle feeding, when a baby wants something, you give it to them because they are ruthless creatures that will take your soul down with them if you don’t.
I love when places have specific rooms for nursing mothers, but I have only encountered a few (an aquarium, some shopping malls, Babies R Us, and… wait, that’s all I can think of). There are areas in malls near the department stores’ bathrooms, typically in stores like Nordstrom and Macy’s that offer couches. But those aren’t necessarily private if people are still able to pry and make moms feel uncomfortable. And a lot of babies don’t like eating under blankets or those breastfeeding capes, no matter how decorative and well-designed they are.
Try eating like this:
So chíc, so impractical.
Not all mothers like to just whip the boob out anywhere, and not all babies are comfortable with noise and distractions that may be around them when they need quiet in order to eat. There should definitely be more places willing to make designated rooms or areas accessible to nursing mothers and generally parents with babies. This way, mothers can choose to use the facility if they want to. But if they prefer to feed elsewhere — in front of everyone — they should have the freedom to do so in peace. I’ll never understand why people have the nerve to pester mothers about “indecent exposure” and tell them to stop feeding their babies, when they could easily just look away and mind their own business.
One afternoon in Philly, when my daughter was just three months old, I had no time to find a place to sit down. She was impatient and hungry. So, I was breastfeeding her while walking and a woman literally clapped her hands at me and said “gotta do what you gotta do, girl!” In the same afternoon, I was feeding again and a man actually cat-called me. I was appalled, but I also thought about the applause I previously received. I was doing what I had to do. Creeps are going to creep, haters are going to hate. But how can we do what we have to do AND put an end to the shaming and discrimination?
We're tired of being sexualized. We're tired of being shamed.
Respect the boobs. Respect the women. Respect what mothers do for their children.
