I’ve heard before, and believe to be true, that different people awaken different beasts inside us. We do not meet people by pure chance or sheer luck; each person is woven into our lives at exactly the right time, for exactly the right reasons. Perhaps they are meant to teach a lesson, help us to grow, or inspire us to see things differently. I’ve come to a peace with the idea that people lack permanence; not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay forever.
The boy with the harmonic laugh and the deep brown eyes took a piece of my heart that I’ll never really get back. Our summer together was, before jaded exaggerations, bitter aftertastes, and romanticizing in hindsight, indescribable. Waves washing up on ankles, setting suns on lookout spots, bonfires blazing, summer in the air. First kisses that make your heart stop and your world stand still. Being with him was like a breath of fresh air in my lungs, but too often forgetting to breathe. Hands on skin, tracing palms and wandering down spines, caressing curves, interlocking and holding long into the night. I’ll remember the nights we often had, indulging in one another’s company, losing track of time. As days passed, there grew a fire in my heart. I felt us falling into a steady rhythm, as if we were poetry, composing our own beat. Slow revolutions, eyes locked, shallow breath, nature’s hum. There was innocence to be lost, conversations to avoid, and numbered days to play out. It’s was all so wonderful that sometimes I envied myself for having him.
That summer, there was a vibrant energy pulsing through my veins. I was more alive than I’d ever been. However, the most awful truth of all was that he was never mine to keep; this wasn’t love. How could a heart so brave and a mind so exotically intricate be taken away as quickly as it had come? Circumstantially, our paths diverged and his absence left a longing in my heart. I realized though, that the only option was to move on. We wanted different things and we both had dreams to chase and lives to live. People come and go, and it was time to let him go. Without rain, there would be no flowers.
To all the women who have had their heart broken, I implore you to have hope. Remember that the one who is deserving of your love will never put you through this kind of pain. Remember that time heals all wounds, and take comfort in knowing that you hold inside of you an indestructible strength, a passionate heart, and an intuition that will never steer you wrong. I promise that you will not feel this way forever. Remember the poet Rumi’s words, that “the wound is the place where the light enters you.” Use this pain as a catalyst for growth. Most importantly, practice self-love and be gentle with yourself. Experiencing this pain doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means you’re alive.
Remember that it’s okay not to be okay. Take time to feel every emotion for as long as you need, but know when it is enough. Acknowledging our emotions is healthy, it allows us to move on and make peace with the situation. Use this as an opportunity to take control; be as selfish as you want, try something new, lose yourself in something you enjoy doing. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, and let their love in. You don’t have to go through this alone. Someday, somehow, you will meet the one who’s made to love you, and everything will make sense. Do not allow yourself to be callused by pain. There is someone out there who is wondering what it would be like to love someone like you; hold out for him.
Wait for the man who will take you to brunch, make you laugh uncontrollably, and inspire you to be a better person. Wait for the man who will never make you question his love for you. Wait for the man who sees you as an individual, a partner, an equal. Wait for the man who puts you first, because love is putting someone else’s needs above your own. Trust your heart, let it guide you to that person. I promise it will be worth the wait.
