No One Owes You A Relationship
Start writing a post
Swoon

No One Owes You A Relationship

It’s OK to be disappointed.

1041
No One Owes You A Relationship
123rf

I don't know if it's because "Cuffing Season" has officially begun, or if everyone just feels like complaining about their love life on social media all of a sudden, but I'm starting to see a trend on every social media platform I'm a part of. Words like “ghosting”, “abuse” and “relationships” have been the biggest topics on my timelines and somehow, I don’t think these three words necessarily go together.

I’m going to say this bluntly, I don’t believe that ghosting is a form of abuse. I believe that ghosting is inconsiderate and I believe it’s a terrible thing to do. However, comparing ghosting to any sort of emotional abuse is insulting to people who have actually gone through emotional abuse.

Here is where I stand: no one owes you a relationship. When you decide to date, you are putting yourself at the risk of being hurt. Relationships can be messy, heartbreaking and confusing. I won’t say that they are easy. Even if you truly believe that you are with your soulmate, there are going to be times where you will feel hurt by the person you are in a relationship with. No one is perfect and relationships tend to magnify that.

When a new relationship begins (at least for me,) I have high expectations of the guy I’m with. I expect chivalry, respect, and common kindness. And in return, I will try my absolute best to put everything I can into the relationship. Sometimes, I’m let down and that’s okay. I pick myself up and move on, which is what you need to do when a guy (or a girl) ghosts you.

You need to have high expectations for yourself. If you’re swiping through Tinder, I encourage you to stop. 9/10 times, no one truly worth it is on there. If the person you’re talking to isn’t taking the time to get to know about your passions, your dreams, and your fears, they are not worth it. If you only see this person in the middle of the night, I can assure you, it is not worth it.

If the person you’re talking to seems genuinely interested in you and ends up ghosting you, move on. They are not worth your time. If your nightly hook-up only wants to hook-up and nothing more, do not expect more out of them. If they are honest about their feelings, do not try to change them. They do not owe you a relationship. You cannot expect them to change because you want them to be your arm candy on every Instagram post.

Real love is a mutual respect for each other. You respect their time, their boundaries and everything about them. If you feel like you’re not getting this respect, do yourself a favor and leave the relationship where it stands. People will make time and effort for the people they truly care about. Do not let drunken texts, Snapchats, and Twitter DMs fool you.

And if someone ghosts you, know that it hurts. Your feelings will be hurt because your expectations weren’t met. This is the feeling of disappointment and it’s okay to have that feeling of disappointment. It happens.

However, that feeling of disappointment over a person ghosting you does not equal abuse. Emotional abuse is serious and can have traumatizing effects. If the person you went on one date with decides to ghost you, that is not abuse. Please stop comparing ghosting to emotional abuse. It’s okay to get your heartbroken. It isn’t okay to compare your broken heart and expectations to a person who is emotionally traumatized by actual emotional abuse. So please stop doing that.

Anyways, dating and relationships aren’t always fun. Feelings get hurt and expectations aren’t met. I promise that the person who is worth it is out there. Just keep looking

Report this Content
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58371
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37601
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959216
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

193483
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments