Anyone who has ever experienced heartbreak knows how horribly awful a time it is. You can remember the tears when you went to call him in the middle of the night, only to remember you couldn't. You can remember the sinking feeling when you saw the first picture of him with a date. You can remember how the only thing that made you feel better was ice cream and binge-watching Netflix wishing you were lucky enough to be Blair Waldorf, because Chuck never stopped loving her.
However, many people find that their first heartbreak was the most unbearable. For me, this is also true. I was 17 when I first knew what heartbreak was, and I was more broken than I knew possible. Even though our first loves are often the products of high school crushes turned sweethearts, a naïve mind is just as bad as a naïve heart. And when we are young adults, it is hard to imagine a feeling we haven't experienced. We are totally unprepared for the feelings heartbreak brings. Our innocence prevents our brains from acknowledging a life without our first love. This new feeling we have experienced is unlike any other, and we feel it would be impossible to create with anyone else. As Cat Stevens wrote, “the first cut is the deepest."
But, although heartbreak is a depressing time, that first heartbreak teaches us a tremendous amount about ourselves that we wouldn't otherwise have learned.
These are the lessons everyone learns from their first heartbreak.
1. Your friends and family are so irreplaceable and you should never take them for granted.
These are the people that were there for you during the fights, the tears and the goodbyes. But you never have to say goodbye to them. They will always be there, and that means a lot when you suddenly find yourself without someone you thought would always be there.
2. You know what to expect.
You know that the feelings of hopelessness and longing for your no-longer-significant other will subside. You know what to do to make yourself feel better. You know how to bring yourself out of the hole.
3. You will be able to give guidance to your friends going through heartbreak.
No one truly gets it like someone that has experienced the same thing before. And just having your heart broken for the first time, you will know exactly how to comfort and support your friends as they go through something similar.
4. You will have a whole new appreciation for “me" time.
Admit it, you definitely skimped on your "me" time, if not in the relationship, then definitely during the break up. Your first heartbreak allows you to truly know what that "me" time means to you since it's the first time you really went without it. Now you can make the right decisions for you as you don't deny yourself that mani-pedi on a Sunday or give into drinking tea and reading a good book on a rainy night.
5. You know what you're looking for. Your first relationship was great, but you remember a lot of those things you didn't like that you just put up with. Like the way he never offered to take you to dinner, or the way he didn't care about his faith, or that he didn't take school seriously. Whatever the reason, there were things you let go. However, being single you realize the plethora of people out there, and that you now have the ability to be with someone that possesses the qualities that you were looking for. You have the experience to know what really is important to you.
6. You won't fall in love as easy again. Now you know what a relationship is, you have gained a certain maturity. And since you have been in a loving relationship, you know the difference between crushes and actual love.
7. You learned your lesson. After the break up, I'm sure you heard about some flaws you have in the relationship and what your partner didn't necessarily love about you. You now know what to be conscious of in your next relationship.
8. Your first love taught you about you. You never knew how to act completely crazy in love or what kind of partner you would be. You got to experience yourself in a role you hadn't before.
9. Life goes on. Despite what we may have originally intended, life continues to go on without this person in our life. And for this reason, you will find someone worth your love that you never knew existed.
