I grew up with crippling social anxiety and I was a notorious hypochondriac, and most people just did not understand how I felt mentally and no matter how I explained it, no one ever took these mental issues seriously. People would ask me to go out, to meet their friends, to go out to eat and I had to tell them I didn't want to, or use some tired excuse, when really it was because I literally could not-- most people didn't respect that as a reason to flake out on plans. Well now Im a little older, I understand myself a little better, and Im a little more articulate. So Im going to try my hardest to explain to you the thought process of someone who suffers from social anxiety. This is all from my personal experience, so your results may vary, but Im sure on some level there is a general consensus on how people with this anxiety go about social situations.

Let me set a simple scenario for you. Its a Friday evening, you have been at school all day and all week and you are so excited to spend a weekend in your bed. But your friend tells you there is a party at someones house tonight and they want to grab dinner and then head over there. You don't know the host of the party, its in a part of town that you're not familiar with, and the more you think about all of the details you don't have the more the anxiety starts to roll in. You tell your friend "I don't really want to go tonight" and they hit you with the classics: "Its Friday night c'mon, You never go out, you need to have some fun tonight..", and the social pressure rolls in too. You're thinking about all of the things that could go wrong, all of the social situations that you're going to be put in that you don't even know how to prepare for, and now you're thinking about what you're "supposed" to be doing on a Friday night. Your anxiety levels are rising, and your friends are persistent, they are taking a bit of a guilt trip route trying to get you out of your house. You start to feel like a jerk for flaking out on them, that brings on more nerves, you start to think that they are getting angry with you, that brings on more nerves, they are talking about getting drunk or smoking and you're not comfortable enough to not be sober at this party you know nothing about. Your friends are not taking no for an answer and they said they are going to pick you up in an hour for dinner. Crap, you forgot about dinner. Dinner means a loud restaurant, and you're going to have to talk to a waiter, and thats difficult on a normal day much less on a day where your anxiety is sky rocketing. The hour approaches slowly, you're looking out the window every few minutes hoping they aren't out front. You text them one last time that you really don't want to go and inevitably they asking you "why not" and you panic. Do you tell them its because you're anxious? no they will roll their eyes. Do you give them an excuse? Then you're lying. This build up escalates until you either just flat out say you're not going, or you suck it and go and are a wreck the whole time. Whatever comes next you still just fought the same battle you fight every time you have to leave the house.

Basically imagine you are unwelcome and unprepared in every potential situation. Everywhere you go there will be someone looking at you, someone judging you. You will feel like you do not belong there and everyone knows it. That feeling of 100 eyes all locked on you, thats how a lot of us feel every time we leave the house. So try your hardest not to question the validity of your friends anxiety when they say they really aren't up for a night on the town. Think of this, put yourself in their position, be thoughtful of what you're actually asking them. It may come easy to you but it is the hardest thing for us to do.