One of the most annoying phrases to come out of any man's mouth is, "Nice guys always finish last." The problem with this comment is that it's false and the men who typically say it aren't actually nice guys. Actual nice guys don't finish last; self-proclaimed "nice guys" who throw a fit when women don't want them finish last.
I know what some of you are thinking. "Girls always go for the jocks! The jerks who don't actually care!" I understand where you may get that impression but, again, this is false. Girls go after these types of guys for a little adventure and fun before we actually want to find someone to settle down with. Sure, sometimes things end up better than expected, but we know deep down that any infatuation we may have with these types of guys is probably going nowhere. When it comes to dating, we want the genuinely nice guys.
The guys who complain about being "friend zoned" are the same guys who don't give girls they don't find attractive a second glance. Excuse us ladies for following your example. Sorry for not being physically attracted to you just because you're treating us like human beings. Respecting us doesn't mean we have to accept your advances. You've rejected the advances of women you don't find attractive, right?
There's also a problem with the so-called "friend zone." Despite what "When Harry Met Sally" told us, men and women can be platonic friends. I would know. Just ask my friends Zach, Ashton, Brady, Sean, Jake, Josh... Four of these guys currently have girlfriends and I've seen the remaining two have their fair share of relationships in the past few years as well. None of them have ever complained about me or any of their other female friends putting them in the "friend zone" because they get that women don't owe them a romantic opportunity just because they treat us with respect. They treat us with respect because we're people, not because they expect anything in return.
Of course, there's always exceptions to the rules. Sometimes actual nice guys do finish last, and sometimes the "nice guys" do get the girl. So how do you know if you're a genuinely nice guy who just hasn't had the right stroke of luck yet? If you befriend women because you get along and don't expect anything more because of your friendship, you're a nice guy. If you befriend women because you expect that friendship to turn into a relationship and then complain when she doesn't accept your advances, you're a "nice guy." If you can get a burger and watch a movie with a woman and leave the night with a friendly handshake, you're a nice guy. If you get a burger and watch a movie with a woman then get annoyed when the woman avoids your attempt at a good night kiss, you're a "nice guy."
Here's the thing, self-proclaimed "nice guys": if you became friends with women because you like making friends, things might turn around. Stop looking at women like we're a prize to be won or like we owe you something. Amazing things can happen when you stop expecting favors in return for being a decent human being.
Being nice to a woman entitles you to nothing more than a polite smile or "Thank you." If you believe differently, there's a reason you're finishing last.
