Getting To Know Yourself In This New Year

Getting To Know Yourself In This New Year

New year, new you

Well 2016 came and went, and the new year brings so much hope. The past couple of days I have been making lists of goals I want to accomplish, and things I learned in 2016. Reflecting back on the last year brings so many emotions. It has really made me start thinking about my life and who I want to be in 2017.

The past year gave me hours of clinical experience, new friendships, a breakup, many adventures, travels, new books to read, new Netflix binges, laughter, tears, hope, joy, enlightenment and love.

Reflecting on everything that happened is eye opening and inspiring. I learned so much and grew so much.

I feel like I am coming to know myself more. I am goofy and random, emotional and sometimes irrational (oops!). I am ambitious and independent. I am loving and affectionate. I am laughter. I am a smile. I am a hug. I am a shoulder to lean on. I am strong, fierce, full of fire. I am motivation. I am a voice in this world. And of all of these things that I am, I love myself more than I ever have. (Yes.. this is me practicing one my goals - "MORE SELF LOVE") And let me tell you something.. nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can take that away. No broken heart, no pessimistic friend, no harsh leader, no terrible boss, can take away your spark, your passion, your will to thrive. All of that is yours to control, to flourish, so don’t let that spark inside you die out.

Here’s some advice for 2017.. some things I’ve learned that may help you with your new year:

1. The Scorekeeper

Sometimes in life you will have a friend who is always a competitor. Everything with that person is always a chance to one up you. If you have a friend like that, you know how disheartening it can be to always be put down by someone who is supposed to be rooting for you. So here’s my advice: If you have a scorekeeper friend, ignore it. They mean well (most of the time) but come off a little aggressive. They’re rooting for you, just rooting for themselves more.. and that’s okay. That’s just how they are, and if they’re really your friend, you have to love them for that. Now if you are the scorekeeper friend, relax. Let’s root for each and watch each other grow. Let’s stand together rather than against each other.

2. The Relationship

If you are ringing in the New Year in an unhappy relationship, LET. IT. GO. You can forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive, but trust is SO hard to truly build back. And don’t lie to yourself about it either. Don’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not. Don’t pretend you’re happy when you’re not. A relationship is not worth your time if it is built on lies. If you ever have to say, “I don’t know,” about a relationship, it means no.. you’re just too scared of hurting that person’s feelings. Breakups are really hard especially when that person is your best friend, but trust me when I say that being in an emotional rollercoaster, wild ride of a relationship is more miserable than any breakup. Just let it go.

3. Forgiveness

So all of that brings me right into forgiveness. Maybe you’ve been the victim of a terrible act, but forgive. We’ve all heard that quote: “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Y’all… that is so true. Just because you forgive, doesn’t mean you have to forget, but at least forgive for your own sake. And if you’re the perpetrator of this terrible act, forgive yourself. Carrying the weight of guilt is something you just cannot live with. It will suffocate you. So forgive and learn from the mistake and be better today than you were yesterday or the many days before.

4. Humanity + Love

This year I want to encourage you to love more. This is one of my main goals for 2017. We live in a scary world that needs God more than ever, so pray for others and love others. Show compassion and grace. We are one humanity so please, please keep the world in your constant prayers.

With all of that being said, I hope you all love yourself this year and learn more about yourself than you ever have. Happy 2017!!

Here are couple videos I have linked that I hope you’ll take a look at:

World Humanitarian Day 2016:

Following Heart:

Popular Right Now

To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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