There is no doubt that in this modern age, media has control over us in unfortunate ways. We see it most in adolescents, who are constantly consumed by social media sites. I think most people know there are detrimental effects to using those sites obsessively, but not many people do anything about it. Social media can be a great place to spread the word about important causes, or catch up on current news and events. It’s also a great way to connect with old friends and share your adventures. But we all know there are many downsides to social media. With overexposure of yourself on social media platforms, you’re leaving more room for unsolicited confrontation and criticism.
When you’re a teenager, whether boy or girl, you’re in a fragile period in your life. As much as you may deny it, words can hurt. Social media is just another factor contributing to your self-esteem issues, and your shaken confidence. It’s also sometimes the reason for relationships to be doomed to superficiality. Sometimes I think that social media does more harm than good, especially if you utilize it in the wrong way. The reason why I bring this up is because like I said when you expose yourself through social media, you are allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable to the immature impulses of others. And when you do find yourself a victim of unkind words, you can’t help but feel at least a little bit hurt.
So this is where self-love comes in. Ever since you were young, you have known what jealousy feels like, and as you grow, jealousy can often heighten. You will also eventually experience heartbreak and unstable friendships. Those are just a few of the factors that contribute to the necessity of learning self-love. People often preach, “Put others before yourself,” and although I find that a commendable notion, I have learned that sometimes it truly is necessary to be your own first priority.
As you start to experience your first heartbreaks and broken friendships, so will your friends. And often you can become so caught up in helping others and offering them advice, that you forget to help yourself as well. When you reach those fragile periods of your life, you are forced to learn the balance between selflessness and necessary selfishness.
There is never any shame in taking the time to reevaluate who you are as a person and what it is that you truly value. Sometimes, you just need that time to do whatever it is that makes you happy, whether that be staying in on Friday nights to watch your favorite movies, or taking a yoga class by yourself to find some peace of mind. No one should ever make you feel like self-love is wrong. It’s far from it.
The thing with love is that you need to be able to love yourself fully before you can fully love anyone else. This is often something most people learn in high school when they enter relationships while still insecure about themselves. That’s why it’s completely okay to decide that you need time alone. High school and college age are the ages for freedom, in all aspects of life. It’s the time for experimentation and random adventures. It’s important to find comfort in going at things alone and to feel confident in your own choices. It takes time to figure out who we want to be and who we want to surround ourselves with. It takes trials to figure out what you like and what you want to stay away from. Self-love is also self-discovery. And both are the pathways to true confidence. And we all know, especially in our contemporary society, confidence often lacks.
Despite what anyone says, and despite what your head may be telling you, self-love is not shameful and should not be seen as selfish. It’s completely respectable because not many people understand that self-love is essential for living a fulfilled, happy life.
It all begins and ends with you. And to end this, here are some helpful quotes that everyone should consider:
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” Diane Von Furstenberg.
“To love oneself if the beginning of a life-long romance.” Oscar Wilde.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” Mark Twain.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball.
“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
