I still remember all the times I thought I would wait for you. I sat up late at night and thought that no matter what had happened and no matter how bad you had hurt me, that I would never forget you and I would never be able to move on. I even remember telling even you that I would always be here when things didn't work out the way you planned. I told you that I would wait for you, and now I can't imagine anything ever being more far from the truth.

My biggest fear used to be losing you. It used to be thinking about my life without you, and then one day that was actually a reality. It was a reality when you told me there was someone else. It was made a reality when you blamed me for you cheating on me. Now my biggest fear is the thing I promised you would never happen. My biggest fear is that you will come back to collect on my promise of never moving on or getting over you.

My biggest fear is now finally that I'm moving on and I'm happy, that you're going to slither your way back into my life. The last thing on earth that I would want to do would be to let you back into my life, but I also realize how manipulative you are by making me believe that you leaving was all my fault. I have realized who you really are, but my worst fear is to see your name flash across my phone when my heart is finally happy.

I am getting there. I am moving on and dating and realizing some of the things I missed out with you in my life. I missed out on being happy and truly doing what I always wanted do to. So I am sorry for telling you that there would always be a place for you in my life when it is now a lie. So please don't try to come back around because you will never have my heart again.