There are things I could never imagine happening to me. That is saying a lot considering I have an overactive imagination and deal with anxiety in my life. I can imagine an asteroid crashing into earth close to where I live. My friends will tell you that they are not allowed to mention when comets are appearing or an eclipse is happening. I can imagine a tsunami wiping out the coastal area where I live. I can envision an earthquake while I am in a three story building. I am afraid that someone might break into the house when I am all alone and taking a shower (that might just be a throwback from Psycho). I can even imagine how our country might look like after the current elections. Yet, I could never have imagined what happened this week.

I arrived at class and we began a group team building exercise. The instructions were simple. Everyone was to stand in a large circle. The professor would read a statement, and everyone would quickly, without much thought or hesitation, step into the circle to the extent that they agreed with the statement. If you strongly agreed with the statement, you would walk into the middle of the circle. If you slightly agreed, you would only take a small step or two in the circle. If you strongly disagreed, you would stand in place and so on.

The first statements were innocuous.

"I like chocolate." Almost everyone was in the middle of the circle.

"I like pizza." People were a bit more spread out on this one.

"I am a dog person." "I am a cat person." There were some strong feelings on this one.

The statements then focused more on issues.

"I am a feminist."

"I believe everyone has the same access to prosperity."

"I believe everyone should have equal access to education."

With each of these statements, everyone in the group shared the same opinion. We all appeared to be on the same page when it came to social issues and ideals.

After each statement, the professor would ask us to return to the circle if we had moved. There were a few more statements, and then I heard this one.

"I believe in God."

Without hesitation, I began my first step towards the middle of the circle. As I moved, I suddenly became aware that no one else was moving. I hesitated for a split second. Do I keep going? Surely everyone is thinking about the question and will be stepping in. Maybe they are just waiting for the others. I took another step. The room was still and silent.

I kept taking steps into the middle. I could only see those in front of me or just to my side. Everyone was looking at me in the circle, but no one looked me in the eyes. I felt alone and exposed. I thought of the woman in the Bible who was caught in adultery. Everyone circled around her, pointed fingers and said she should be stoned. Could this really be happening? I just wanted the professor to direct me back to my spot in the circle.

We quickly moved on to our next activity. I don't remember much about what we did the rest of the class. I still felt as if I was standing alone in the middle of the circle. That feeling would stay with me for a while, in fact, I am still carrying a bit of it with me as I write.

I would not have been surprised if no moved into the circle had the statement been, "I am a Christian" or "I am religious" or "I go to church." I know many people who want nothing to do with organized religion. I understand those who have questions about faith. I certainly have many questions about God, the church, the Bible, and more. I am still shaken by the fact that no one moved into the circle. Even is someone had moved just a step or two into the circle, it would have been easier to understand. How could these people who share the same values about social issues and social justice not believe in God?

I have been thinking about this all week. As I began to process this, I looked at the world and the events of the past years. I remember bombings and killings in the name of God, I saw religious people who hate those who are different, people who say that God hates those who are different, people who claim to follow God, but turn their back on the poor, sick and lonely. Politicians have been throwing around claims about God for months. Churches are splitting because they can't agree to love one another any longer because of issues surrounding race, gender, who you can love or which bathroom people can use.

I must wonder if these bright, talented, young people I know, who want to change the world, look at all of this and have decided that God can't exist if this is the way things are. In his book, “Blue Like Jazz”, Donald Miller writes about his experience at Reed College, a secular liberal arts college in Oregon. He and a few Christian friends discuss a way to talk to people on campus about their faith since students seemed hostile to their views. They come up with an idea to offer a confession to the other students. The confession below expresses what I have been thinking.

"So this group of us on campus wanted to confess to you."

"You are confessing to me!" Jake said with a laugh.

"Yeah. We are confessing to you. I mean, I am confessing to you."

"You're serious." His laugh turned to something of a straight face.

"There's a lot. I will keep it short," I started. "Jesus said to feed the poor and to heal the sick. I have never done very much about that. Jesus said to love those who persecute me. I tend to lash out, especially if I feel threatened, you know, if my ego gets threatened. Jesus did not mix his spirituality with politics. I grew up doing that. It got in the way of the central message of Christ. I know that was wrong, and I know that a lot of people will not listen to the words of Christ because people like me, who know him, carry our own agendas into the conversation rather than just relaying the message Christ wanted to get across. There's a lot more, you know."

There is a lot more. I must confess that I haven’t always shown God in my life, but I am going to keep trying.