Yes, I've never had a boyfriend, but...

I still know heartbreak.

There have been so many times when I needed to crawl up with Chunky Monkey and cry my heart out. Second-hand breakup is a real thing. When my friends go through a breakup, it affects me too. I become so invested in relationships. Recently, my friend's heart was broken and when she sent me a text telling me about everything, I was in tears. I was not the one that experienced it, but I was still taken aback. More like I ate a bag of chips, cried, and watched a sad movie. It was horrible.

I give great boy advice.

For some reason, my friends that have had multiple boyfriends and relationships come crawling to moi for advice. I know the right things to text back: “no emoji.” I know how long to wait to answer: “wait 16 minutes.” And I know what to wear on date night: “Off the shoulder with light wash skinnies.” With all this great advice I have, I still cannot manage to find a boyfriend. It baffles me.

I make it through every valentines day alive.

My dad always comes in clutch with candy and chocolate covered pretzels every year. Chocolates from your best friends are fabulous. Also, the movie, Valentine’s Day, is amazing and so worth it. Plus, the day after, all the chocolate boxes are 70% off. Who needs a boy when you got boxes of fine chocolate?

Who really needs a boyfriend?

I don’t. I have made it through 17 years of life and I am still perfect. We live in a period of time when we do not need a man to get through life. Let’s stand and give a standing ovation to all the ladies who have not jumped from Jack to Ryan to Mike to Dan because those are the realest ladies. They have realized something other have not; that we are perfect when wearing sweatpants and a baggy T or a tight dress and pumps.