I had this idea that going to college was going to be this magical time where I would balance school and life and fun and the memories I would make would last forever. In some ways, this is still true, but in others, the college dream has fallen a bit short.

I love NYU. LOVE IT. It’s the perfect school for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And yet, I still get home sick. I still wonder about transferring schools whenever I feel nervous about going so far away from home again. I think about whether I’ll still have the amazing friends I made last semester or whether I’ll make new friends. And that’s okay.

I have a month until I take the long plane ride back to New York City to start my semester year at NYU and I. Am. Scared.

I am rooming with three of my best friends, I have made plans to go do amazing things with amazing people, I am excited to study French and the great books and artwork that inspired generations; however, I can’t help but wonder about the other side of it all. I am nervous that I am not going to remember how to do anything in school or will fail all my classes and drop out. I am nervous that my friends are going to suddenly disappear and I’ll spend everyday wishing I was home and not lonely.

At first, I felt incredibly anxious about these feelings. I was supposed to be ecstatic about returning to school! Everyone says that summer break lasts so long because of how exciting everyone is to return to their campuses, but I felt like the countdown was trudging towards me menacingly, getting faster every day.

I wish I could say that one little thing helped cure my nerves and made me excited to return to NYU, but that’s not the case. In fact, whenever I start to feel nervous, I try to think about everything that makes me love my school. The culture, the people, the atmosphere…

It’s normal to feel nervous, especially when it comes to failing. No one wants to fail, right? Saying that failure is part of life isn’t enough to stop your nerves from taking over, but I hope that it helps you take the right steps this school year. Be nervous, but don’t let fear run your life.

That’s what I’m trying to figure out how to do, anyway.