While it is impossible to fathom how difficult losing a loved one to suicide is on a family, being there for your friends after they have lost a family member to suicide can be a challenging role. As humans, it is a part of our nature to seek answers for questions and events that we cannot understand. A consequential question that we seek to answer as a human race in regards to suicide is, "why?" While suicide is incomprehensible, heartrending, and inexplicably harrowing, one thing that suicide is not is selfish. When someone commits suicide, we must consider the reality that they were facing and admit that we cannot comprehend how they must have felt. We must also understand that is no one person's fault, including their own. The only element that can be held responsible when it comes to suicide is depression. Depression is a medical condition that needs to be spoken about, acknowledged, accepted, and treated.
When someone suffers from depression, they often mask their complex feelings and vulnerable emotions behind a smile and continue to "go through the motions" of life. For those who have never suffered from depression, it is incredibly difficult to comprehend how someone could feel so hopeless and defeated that they felt like killing themselves is the only solution. In addition to fighting unwitnessed battles that we often know nothing about, people who suffer from depression typically struggle with severe anxiety, paranoia, lack of energy, and insomnia as well. Depression is a non-preventable medical condition that is often misunderstood and belittled by the media and general public. The truth is, depression is an unexplainable medical condition that can effect anyone in the world, at any time in their life. Depression can happen to the teenage girl who is homecoming queen, the basketball coach that is a father of three and loves his children dearly, the 80-year-old man who just lost his wife of 50 years, and your childhood friend's father who was one of the most intelligent and selfless people you ever knew. Depression can happen to anyone. It can happen even if you smart, attractive, funny, financially stable, or seen as someone who "has every reason to be happy."
When viewing depression from a medical perspective, it is important to realize that depression truly is a medical condition that is paired with social and psychological implications, and that the people who battle and have battled depression are stronger than we could ever imagine. People who suffer from depression believe that there is no way out of their situation and often see suicide as the only solution, but many say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem that can be overcome. For people with depression, they do not see their problems as temporary because they have been battling them for longer than you can imagine. When the media, society, and individuals say that people who commit suicide are weak, selfish, and "should have asked for help", they are contributing to the problem of depression being a taboo. When someone commits suicide, we cannot label them as selfish because we cannot understand the circumstances they were going through, the grasp that depression had on their mind, or how long they had been fighting this invisible battle. Additionally, we must remember that depression changes the way a person's mind, heart, and soul work and understand that someone who kills themselves is not trying to hurt anyone other than themselves. We cannot call someone who commits suicide weak, because people who suffer from depression battle invisible wars on their own for a long period of a time, which ultimately shows their strength.
While we can in no circumstance blame ourselves for a loved ones depression or suicide, we can play a part in making sure that depression becomes discussed, understood, and recognized. Depression can be treated, but those who suffer from it often do not want to be helped or admit that they need help. People with depression are consumed by the wrath of their disease and believe that they will never be more than what depression is telling them. While suicide is something that victims, loved ones, and strangers will never be able to fathom, we can make a difference by knowing the symptoms and warning signs of depression, encouraging those around else to seek help, talking about depression as a mental illness, and recognizing that depression can happen to any person at any time in their life.
For decades, depression has been something that is seen but not heard. It is time that we start listening to depression, talking about depression, discussing the normalcy of depression, and promoting treatment and awareness for those who are depressed. Depression is a medical illness that can cause suicide, and suicide is the reason that we need to start talking about, viewing, and discussing depression more frequently and differently than ever before.
