Up until this year, I was not happy with the way I was living my life. I thought I was happy because I was doing plenty of things that I usually loved. I realized that I was caught in a cycle of always putting everyone else before myself. I took on much more than I could handle, and the result was not pretty. I was constantly stressed, worried, and upset. I couldn’t commit to anything 100% because I was too busy trying to do everything. I had breakdowns every other day and constantly cried. Go ahead, call me a cry baby. I’m over it now.
Being a student with a stressful job really takes a toll on your well-being. Everyone expects so much of you, and you’re just like, “I’m in college. This is a retail job. Leave me alone." Management is usually not concerned about you unless your dying, basically. They pile on your hours, and often seem to forget that this is a part-time job and that you’re in school, too. You have no choice but to suck it up and work (because you need money). It really sucks having class all day long and then heading straight to work all night. The real struggle is trying to finish as much homework as possible during your 15 minute break at work.
Lately I’ve come to a couple realizations. Last year I gave up way too much of my time for a team that did not do much for me. Yes, I probably would’ve enjoyed it more if I wasn’t so busy, but unfortunately that was not the case. I was doing something that I love- dancing. Of course, some good things did come out of it, and I will somewhat miss it. I’m so relieved just thinking about how much more time I am going to have. With this extra time, I am going to focus on myself and what I want to do with my life. I refuse to spend these crucial years of my life doing anything that is not going to be worth it. Why do anything that makes me miserable? I deserve to be happy. Even when everything seems to be going terribly bad, I know that somewhere I will be able to find happiness.
If I want to go on an adventure somewhere, I’m going to go there. If I want to learn a new skill or activity, I will put my heart and soul into it. I am going to set goals for myself to make me a better person. This better person that I will become is going to be exactly the person that I want to be. I am tired of living my life according to other people’s standards. I’m sick of trying to schedule time for myself around the time that I have committed to everything else in my life. If I am going to make my dreams come true, I’ve got to go out there and do it. I am determined to live a happier, fuller life. There is no room in my life for negativity. I’m ready to start living my life to it’s fullest extent. Are you?
