Inspired by my older piece, SUNY Schools As Girls You Went to High School With, I decided to tackle my new home's popular schools: the UNC's.
If you graduated from a North Carolina high school, chances are 85% of the graduates going on to college went to a UNC (University of North Carolina). With them being some of the most popular schools in the country, huge student bodies, distinct regional differences, and each having their own individual flair, it is not hard to stereotype them.
1. UNC-Chapel Hill - The Valedictorian Gone Wrong
She came to Chapel Hill, top of her class until her first frat party where she did her first keg stand, now she carries a flask to all her late night study sessions. All of her snap stories are her in some sort of Carolina blue tastefully ripped to shreds as she is letting Brad from Sigma Apple Pie do a body shot off her. Probably changed her major from engineering to a PR degree.
2. NC State - The Girl Next Door
NC State was the girl you grew up next to who sold Girl Scout cookies to you in a middle school, and definitely wasn't slutty enough to be top of the pyramid on the cheer squad. Graduated top ten percent of her class and went on to successfully get an education degree, studies in the library every night but still holds the record for the shortest shotgun on her entire dorm building. Pre-gamed her Praxis and got a near perfect score.
3. UNC Asheville - The Hipster
White girl with dreads who insists it is not racist. Always smells of essential oils and patchouli and wears Birks without socks when it's 20 degrees out. Only attends the craft beer bars that are dog-friendly so she can post it on social media like she always knows where the trendiest things are, then claims that she's so over social media. Says weed isn't a drug but cannot go a night without hitting a blunt to ease her anxiety, drives all the way to DC to march every year.
4. UNC Greensboro - Voted "Most Likely To Be Famous"
UNCG was the funny kid in high school with the biggest personality who everyone thought was going places. He got a business degree with no intention of using it, has four late assignments due in Macro because he is too busy creating sick beats on garage band. His biggest hit on SoundCloud is a single titled "Voicemail" which is just recordings of his voicemail and him uttering "damn" occasionally.
5. Western Carolina - Daddy's Little Frat Boy
Was an education major because he half listened to "Dead Poet's Society" in high school but changed majors the first month of student teaching. Joined a frat immediately after failing the Praxis and now wears chubbies with boat shoes even though he is at least seven hours from the beach at all times. Is getting a business degree to find a management position at his daddy's business and is looking for a "nice virgin to wife up" even though he has slept with 20 girls. Has not taken a test not on Adderall to date. Tried to Ice the professor to get Twitter famous.
6. East Carolina University - The Life of The Party
ECU was the girl who skipped all her classes in High School to smoke a blunt in her boyfriend's Jeep yellow Cherokee and still somehow was able to walk at Graduation. She broke up with her boyfriend to fully immerse herself in college. You have no idea if she is alive except for her once in a blue moon snap story of her doing a line off a beer pong table that's more covered in signatures than actual paint. Her major is still undecided, she's a senior.
7. UNC Wilmington - The Hollister Model
Still wears his Pooka shell necklace from seventh grade and worn out leather flip-flops. Tried bleaching his hair but it came out a mustardy yellow color but is too lazy to fix it. Has dated the same girl since freshman year named Rain and are both studying Marine biology but has no interest in science at all. Accepted an offer with the peace corp to teach children in Guatemala English and you will never hear from him again.
8. UNC Charlotte - The Train Wreck
Started as a nursing major but quickly changed to education after her first lab practical. Rushed Tri Delta her freshman year but had to take active leave because she couldn't balance it with homework and going to chapel. Still has her letters tattooed on her lower boob. Spends every Saturday night in an uptown Charlotte bar, drunk off four Cranberry vodkas, crying about Paul from BUS 305 who isn't her boyfriend but is her boyfriend posting snap stories of other girls.
9. Appalachian State - The Washed Up Cheerleader
Head cheerleader from high school but wasn't good enough to cheer in college. Now she goes every day to her HR classes with her heavily stickered YETI tumbler full of diet coke and Smirnoff vodka. Wears duck boots with a Tu Grit sherpa quarter zip and pearls, even if it's 20 degrees and should probably just wear a coat. Her Insta bio says "Mountain Girl" with a sunflower emoji but has only gone to the parkway once, and didn't get out of the car.
