Apparently, June 8^th is “National Best Friends Day.” It may not be a scam from card companies to sell more cards (like birthdays, according to Ron Swanson), but it’s definitely not an official holiday. It’s a ploy of social media to get more likes or shares and an excuse to post more pictures from that cute photoshoot. (See also: “National Cheese Day,” “National Donut Day.”)

Now don’t get me wrong—I love this “National Best Friends Day” deal. I love seeing people supporting each other with encouragement and affirmations. Post it all; don’t hold back. In fact, why only post this specific day? Love on your friends yesterday, today and tomorrow. All your friends.

How do you pick a best friend? Sure, if I have to, I can choose a friend I’ve known the longest, grown the closest to and still love after all we’ve been through. I can also choose a friend I may not see on a constant basis, but still have deep conversations with, while challenging me in my faith. I can choose a friend who started as just a co-worker, but soon became someone I could not imagine life without. I can choose a friend that supports my goals as much as I support theirs. Or a friend that is always up for those late-night advice texts. A friend that shares millions of inside jokes. The list goes on and on, as do the blessings from these wonderful souls.

But at one point, I could've also chosen a friend I grew up with, but then grown apart from over the years. I could've chosen a friend who seemed to forget I exist. I could've chosen a friend who’s changed their very being to something I no longer recognize. I could've chosen a friend that’s broken my heart. A friend who’s kept the truth from me.

The extroverted feeling part of my INFJ personality yearns for harmony between myself and others. I wish conflict would never happen and that animosity amongst individuals around me would be quenched in a giant, sappy wave of love and understanding.

I can wish and hope all I want, but the reality of the situation is that sometimes best friends end. I do not feel right singling out one best friend. “Best friend” is a tier, not a title. I have and have had wonderful best friends. They are in my past, my present and my future—even though only a few will span all three of these tenses of life. I have lost people due to circumstances I still do not understand. I also found people due to circumstances I still do not understand!

I’m not trying to point fingers. I’m not naming names. I’m not calling you out. I’m simply saying, I understand. I understand your world changes and so does mine. I feel sad when an old memory creeps up because I know it will never be like that again. I am still glad to have known you, even if we are not the same now. You are part of my story, and that is okay.

Best friends end. Best friends also begin. And the very best friends stay.