I went through a Greek Mythology phase. From the time I first read stories about Chronos eating his children for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack on the side (Titan's gotta eat), to the time I was about twelve I was transfixed by problems essentially started because Zeus couldn't keep it in his pants. Quite a few of them couldn't keep it in their pants. After a while, the stories of the gods raping helpless women and giving birth to their bastard children, looking at you Zeus, got old. It was the same story again and again. Greek god sees beautiful girl, Greek god disguises himself as an animal/kidnaps/coerces girl. Girl is sexually assaulted by Greek god and gives birth to demigod. I could write an article about how this sexual violence against women may or may not have reflected Greek society, but that is for the scholarly world and I totally didn't plan on writing about that at present. Instead I would like to convince you to turn your attention to Norse Mythology.

Now, I'm not saying that the Norse pantheon is without fault. They are as much butt heads as the Greeks. However, the stories of the Norse gods are considerably more interesting. I submit to you an example. I submit to you the story of Thor cross dressing.

The story is as follows:

The walls or gates of Asgard were not yet completed (memory escapes as to which one it was). Since the Norse gods are a lazy bunch of deities, they enlisted the help of a giant. Now, building a wall or gate to the city of the Aesir (the Norse gods) is a hefty task and surely the giant would want to be payed well. Odin decided to confront him about his wages.

"Hey man," Odin said. "Thanks for doing us a solid for building this wall/gate around our sweet city. Me and the other gods were talking and we were wanting to know what exactly you want in payment."

"It's no problem," the giant replied. "And I want to marry Freya."

"Okay. Cool, so-what?"

"I want Freya as a wife."

"Ah."

This was a problem. Freya is the goddess of beauty, fertility, and gets first pick of the slain in battle. Obviously Odin couldn't just give her to some scrub giant for a wife (also they might have had a thing going on behind Frigga's back). So, Odin gives the giant a rain check and gathers the other gods together.

They aren't happy.

"This is all Loki's fault!" Odin screams.

"What?!" says Loki, who at some point of his life gave birth to a seven legged horse.

"You heard me!"

"How is this my fault?"

"It just is and you're going to fix it!"

Now, Loki is not a strong guy. He can't take down a giant on his own and he can't sweet talk the giant out of wanting to marry Freya. You try talking someone out of marrying Freya. It's not easy. So, Loki is left with one option. Thor.

Ah yes, Thor. Thor the god of thunder, the great warrior and giant slayer. The Australian man-cake with-oh. Sorry, that's Chris Hemsworth. You get the point. Thor agrees to help Loki take down the giant and immediately wanted to fly over the giant's house and bust open some heads, but Loki had another idea. And since it's Loki, you know it's gonna be hilarious.

"What if you...dress...as Freya?"

"You want me to don Freya's wedding clothes and pretend to be a beautiful woman?"

"Yes?"

Turns out Thor was down. So he gets a full makeover. He gets sinched in to hide that hog body, flowers in the hair (because why not?), and a veil to go over his face. Thor does not make a beautiful woman. Hence the veil. Loki just shapeshifts into a lady-in-waiting and they both go to the giants house.

Thor and the giant then get married. It was a beautiful ceremony with faint noises of Loki snickering in the background.

Then, there's the wedding feast. By this time Thor is starving and downs, like, three roasted pigs and twelve tankards of sweet Asgardian mead. The giant is a little concerned.

"Hand maiden," he says to Lady Loki. "The way my wife eats and drinks is a bit weird."

"She's just really excited to be married to such a giant as yourself. She saw the work you did on the wall/gate and couldn't believe how lucky she was to land such a husband."

"Oh. Well that's great!"

At some point in time, the giant wishes to look into the eyes of his wife. He looks through the veil and is startled at the fiery blaze in her eyes.

"Aye, yo, hand maiden! Why are her eyes like that. It's really creepy."

"Well, she-"

"Is that a beard?"

"Uh...Thor you can kill him now!"

Thor rises from the table and, wielding Mjolnir, bashes the giants head in.

"Well, that was easy." Loki said.

"Oh no!" Thor cried.

"What?!"

"I've stained my dress!"

I'm not saying this should be the plot Thor 4. But it should totally be the plot of Thor 4.