For my whole life, I have been considered overweight. I was never the skinny, pretty girl that boys would chase after, I was the girl who had friends that were boys but never boyfriends. I was the girl who when I ran would always come in last and feel ashamed. I was the girl who hated the way that she looked and felt for all of her life but never knew what to do about it. I was the fat girl. I was the girl who could eat so much food and never feel bad about it. I was the girl who bought all the school lunches, ate all of the cookies, cake, pie, cupcakes, munchkins, chips and every other bad thing for you without even a second thought. The problem only got worse once I started college where I had a meal plan. If you know anything about college food, you know that it is completely unhealthy and that it is really hard to eat a good meal. I was left to find my own food which led to many nights of late night pizza, Chinese food, tons of Taco Bell, donuts, burritos, half off apps and basically anything else that I could get my hands on. The thing was, though, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. Here I was in college, having a good time, doing my best to fit in and having as much food as I wanted without anyone telling me that it was bad. This cycle continued until my senior year of college, which was when I was at my heaviest weight of 240 pounds, I was depressed. The holidays came around again so of course, I ate my weight in food and celebrated but I had this little voice in my head telling me that I needed to do something about it. I had to. It was time. I decided that in January I would embark on a new journey to get healthy. I started to workout on the elliptical in my house, I brought a bottle of water and climbed on. The first workout that I did was for 3o minutes and by the time I was done I was out of breath, sweaty and already thinking about giving up. But I pushed forward, eating meals that consisted of chicken and green beans for lunch and dinner, eggs for breakfast, and a lot of water. I slowly brought back other foods but healthier alternatives of them. I noticed myself feeling more energized and motivated to actually work out and live life. I would weigh myself once a week seeing progress here and there and sometimes none at all, those weeks were the worst when I thought that I had lost weight and it turned out that I either had no change at all or had actually gained weight. The day I stepped on the scale and saw that I had lost 15 pounds, I was ecstatic! I was finally getting somewhere. However, I knew that I still had so much work to do.
To date, I have lost 45 pounds and I have never felt better. My self-esteem is so much higher, my smile is bigger and brighter and I find myself looking in the mirror and loving the person that stares back at me. Losing weight is not just about the numbers, it is about how you feel about yourself. Your self-confidence is a huge factor. You have to learn to think positively and to be proud of even the smallest of victories. Those are just as important. The days where you can finally see your feet after not being able to for years, having your clothes be big on you, seeing your face look thinner, being able to look good in a dress that you have owned all of your life but hid it in the back of your closet because you were too embarrassed to wear it. Those are important too. The weeks were you want to give up are the ones where you should push a little harder, dig a little deeper and listen to that little voice in your head that tells you to keep on going. Losing 45 pounds has been one of the most stressful, rewarding, hard, amazing and greatest things that I ever decided. It may not have been easy but I promise you that it was worth it!
