When SZA said, "You say you got a girl...How you want me, how you want me, when you got a girl?" I felt that. Unfortunately, so did many other people. The truth is, cheating is not uncommon, but its prevalence does not make it excusable or okay. Cheating can be emotionally damaging to everyone involved. Usually, the stories shared are from the people in the relationship, but SZA opens up a new narrative, one I can personally relate to: the person the cheater cheated with.
Disclaimer: If you've never blessed your ears with the album "Ctrl", I highly recommend doing so right now, especially the sixth track.
Like everything else she does, SZA owns her place with grace and confidence, but I cannot say the same. Being "The Weekend"--a side chick, side piece, second option--is not as liberating and enjoyable as pop culture makes it seem. It is demeaning, and I cannot convince myself it is a good position to be in. The situation was "reckless," "selfish" and "desperate," and shouldn't have happened, but it did, and now the guilt and uncertainty of what happened makes me lose my mind, every weekend.
Even though I told myself it was okay, the situation left me uneasy. I feel I bear the guilt of breaking a bond and the unsettling feeling that I am the second option. He was, and still is, in a committed relationship with a very kind girl--she is awfully wonderful at being the 9-5. Their relationship seems perfect, and I feel I've tainted that, even though I wasn't even the one being unfaithful.
It made me feel I wasn't good enough to be with him in the daylight. It made me feel like our feelings should be a secret like they were something to be ashamed of. Most importantly, it made me feel like I deserved better.
"I mean I'm saying what kind of deal is two days? I need me at least 'bout four of them, more of them..." Again, hits almost too close to home. This situation left me feeling like I should get more because I am more than The Weekend--I'm the whole week. I need someone who is willing to treat me better, who will see me in the daylight, who does not need to be ashamed to see me.
I'm not the only one who deserves better, though: we all do. She deserves someone who will remain faithful, all of the time because that's what relationships are for. He needs someone who can make him happy on all days of the week. I deserve someone that will give me all of their time. At the end of the day, the situation is emotionally damaging to everyone involved. However, in the second verse, SZA still comes around with:
"...more you, more me, more us,
just tell me you want me Monday,
and I'll be at your door,
ready to take her place..."
Bottom line: cheating is not okay, and it hurts more people than it helps. But securing a man to be your own, in a dedicated relationship, 7 days a week? Sounds like a bright idea to me.
