Let me tell you a story. A story that happened to me recently and that I have been slowly trying to process. Anyone who knows me (or has read anything I’ve written here before) knows I am dyslexic. In case you don’t know what dyslexia is, Merriam-Webster defines it as “a variable often familial learning disability involving difficulties in acquiring and processing language that is typically manifested by a lack of proficiency in reading, spelling, and writing”. It affects a lot of parts of a person's life, but not their intelligence; to be classified as dyslexic you must have at least an average IQ.

So having dyslexia I get accommodations on tests. For example, I get to use a computer, have extended time, that kind of stuff. So, it’s midterm season, and as I always do, I scheduled a time with the testing center to take the test and gave my professor the paperwork from Disability Services. Everything was set and fine. I showed up for my history midterm at the testing center and received a prompt to write an essay, so I did so and want on my merry way.

Until the following week when I had class. The professor started handing the test back, and hands everyone back scantrons. Confused, I turned to my friend and asked why they were getting scantrons back for an essay test. He replied saying it was a multiple choice test. Understandably I was confused. I received my essay midterm back and moved beyond to confused to annoyed, embarrassed, and ashamed. Everyone in the class knew I had a different test now. I received a grade that was decent, but knowing myself and the content I know, I would have aced the midterm if I was given the same one as everyone else.

So at the end of class, I asked the professor why I got a different midterm. He said that it was because I went to the testing center, and he cannot “have the test out there like that”, and that if I wanted to take the same midterm as everyone else I would have to give up my accommodations and take it in the class with everyone else. Then I was told that I shouldn’t complain because writing an essay is easier than answering 25 multiple choice questions and I had extended time, so it shouldn’t be a problem. I explained that I was suppose to get extended time for the same test as everyone else and that I was dyslexic and answering multiple choice questions is, in fact, easier for me than writing an essay. Then, the professor told me that he cannot give me a test because he knows I will do better on it. Basically just blew me off.

This is the first time I have had this issue with a professor, but not the first time I’ve dealt with something like this. In high school I was told, “people like me don’t belong is honor classes”, and that it was okay for a teacher to make a derogatory comment about dyslexia because they “have a dyslexic friend”. I am repeatedly given the “complement” that I’m so smart, no one would guess I’m dyslexic. I’ve been told by some I just need to try harder and use my resources, and that I shouldn’t have any issues because spell check is a thing. I’ve lived with this biased my whole life, but this one was the tipping point.

I always advocate for others, it is something I pride myself in. But advocating for myself? I hate doing it. I’m so fortunate and have so much, I shouldn’t complain about something so small in the grand scheme of life. But then I thought of it a different way, taking myself out of the situation completely. I asked myself, what would I say if one of my friends came to me saying they got a different assessment because they are learning disabled? I would tell them that that goes against several civil right laws and that they are entitled to their accommodations and should not be discriminated against because of their learning disability. I pride myself on being a leader and paving the way for the people who follow me. So if I sat idly by and let this go without notice, I would not only be a hypocrite in everything I say, but I also would be letting down people who will have this professor after me.

Now the issue has been resolved for the future, and the professor now knows that you cannot do this, after talking to disability services and myself. But I still have to live with knowing that I would be getting a better final grade in this course if I received the same midterm as everyone else. And still, after talking to both my parents, several other professors, and disability services, I feel so ashamed. Because this whole situation reminded me that no matter how far I come with my academics, or how much I succeed, that I will continue to face this issue with people and my dyslexia.

People refer to dyslexia as an invisible disability. And I hate that. I hate thinking of it as I’m vocal about my disability, but this situation made me realize that I work so hard to separate myself from my dyslexia, and pretend I accept it. This situation made me realized that sometimes, I will be pushed to practice what I preach, no matter how much I rather not. I realized that as much as I like to think I have come so far, I will always be dyslexic, and there is nothing I can do about that. And I should be proud of what makes me different, and take the experiences that I have and educate others. To truly practice what I say, I have to stand up for myself and other. I have to educate those around me who just may not know any better, or who do not understand what a learning disability is.

So moral of the story, always speak up when you feel as if you are being treated unfairly because of something that makes you unique. Advocate for yourself and others around you. And educate yourself and make sure you are treating everyone fairly. Although, again, this is a small example, I hope this can serve as yet another example of how the things that make us different do not make anyone less than someone else.