I know. Another article about a woman's self-esteem and her views on herself. But, this one is different. It's not about how it makes you feel inside but what makes you see through your eyes. It's different for a lot of women. However, this is my story.

All my life, I have struggled with self-esteem issues. Mostly because I judged myself based on everyone else and how their lives were going. It wasn't just my friends, it was family members. It was random people I saw as I walked to where ever I was going. I made my body and mind a competition everywhere I went with anyone I crossed paths with.

You may be asking what I am even talking about so I'll tell you all the things I was "blind" to.

You see a beautiful girl on Instagram with her make up done and her "eyebrows on fleek". I see my own make-up that I have been doing wrong all of my life because I can't contour. My eyebrows need a wax too. But, I didn't see how beautiful i looked that day.

You see a girl with the most gorgeous outfit she could possibly wear. I see the same old clothes I've been wearing since I graduated high school. But, I don't see the fact that there is nothing wrong with my clothes. They're just not the ones she is wearing.

You see a beautiful home that's just been freshly remodeled. I see my own home that's still under construction. but, I don't see how hard my husband is working to make this a beautiful home.

You see someone with a brand new mac book. I see myself with the cheapest laptop I could buy. But, I don't see the fact that I worked hard to purchase this computer and that it's really not that bad.

You see the cutest couple on Instagram. I see myself with someone that was good for my image. But, I didn't see how he badly he treated me l because I cared about what other people thought of my relationship status. (Note: I got over this way before I met my husband and he's the best human being in the world so this is obviously not about him.)

You see a girl that is a size zero. I see myself as 80 pounds overweight.

I always judged myself based on how other people looked. And just to branch off of the last one, is it crazy to think that I never realized how much weight I had gained until someone pointed it out to me? That's right. I always saw myself as a big girl in high school and I only wore a size 8 in pants. Then I went to college.

Of course in college, you throw out those pants and start wearing leggings, so the fact that my pants didn't fit anymore, didn't occur to me. Every time I looked in a mirror, I noticed my big hips. I noticed my face filling out. I noticed my shirts getting tighter. To me, my shirts being tight and my big hips were just because I was a big girl.

Until someone pointed out one day that I was gaining weight, I stopped and thought about what was happening. I looked through pictures of what I was then and what I am now. I stepped on the scale and went from 144 pounds to 210 pounds. I had let myself go. My thoughts had me blind to the fact that I was really gaining weight and I was never really this big. All because I thought I was always a big girl.

Although it's hard to write this, I have finally come to terms with myself. My body and my life are my own. Nobody's opinion of me really matters other than the times I ask for their opinion. And I want to thank my wonderful husband for that.

I have personally found someone that doesn't make me feel like I have to be in a competition with everyone because I am beautiful in my own way. I am no longer blind to my own beauty. I am not longer blind to my own success. I am no longer blind to how well I have it in this thing we call life. I am me.. no one else. I always will be my own me. There is nothing in this world to take that away from me.

If you're in this situation where you are blind of your own value, it DOES NOT have to be another person swooping in to make you realize that you are something. It DOES NOT have to be meditating for the rest of your life trying to find your real self. It DOES NOT have to be losing 100 pounds of weight to finally see yourself as beautiful.

One day, I hope you can look in a mirror and realize that this is who you are and that you are proud of who you are. Like I did almost 10 months ago.

Today, I am proud of who I am. I still can't do my makeup but I like the way my make-up makes me look. I still see the girl with the most gorgeous outfit, but I know my outfit looks pretty cute today too.

I still see homes that are freshly remodeled, but I know our home is beautiful too. I still see people with the brand new mac book, but I purchased this computer on my own. Their expensive; that's an accomplishment. As for my weight, I still see myself as a big girl. I am trying hard to lose weight but not for my self-esteem but for my future.

I don't want to be out of breath going up stairs anymore. I don't want to lay in bed all day just because I'm lazy. I don't want to keep having to buy clothes because my old clothes don't fit anymore. But until the time I get myself where I want to be again, I will embrace my curves and be proud of them because they are what made me look at myself in the first place.

In the end, I am so thankful to be me. And you should be too.