I've always had rosy cheeks. My whole life, I've been flushed, sun kissed, whatever you'd like to call it. When it comes down to it it's just the way blood oxidizes in my face and a little bit of rosacea. If this is my cross to bear it's really not a terrible plight. My red cheeks came along with striking blues eyes and a smattering of freckles I've always loved; However, I have a bone to pick with society.
For whatever reason, strangers (and friends) have always seen it as appropriate to point out to me that my cheeks are, in fact, red. Just this week, our waiter on spring break gave me a nickname meaning "flushed" in Spanish. When I was standing in the airport bathroom, I told my best friend I had gotten a little sun and the lady next to us laughed and said "a little?"
I understand that for many people, red cheeks mean they're sunburnt/hot/cold/have just been working out/ are having an allergic reaction/ etc. However for me, it is just how my face looks. Nothing in my entire life has made me nearly as self conscious as when people find it necessary to point out my natural face looks a certain way. Just imagine what it would do to you if everyday somebody went out of their way to point out what you are most apprehensive of about yourself.
I would never walk up to another person and say something along the lines of, "did you realize you have a birth mark on your face?" Or, "did you know you have a lazy eye?" That would be considered not only extremely rude, but probably socially inept, so I just really don't know where people get off reminding me of how I look. From puberty until I was 19, I figured it didn't matter how great the rest of me was people only saw my redness. I spent hours, and I can't even imagine how much money, on makeup techniques learning how to cover up my cheeks just so I wouldn't have to listen to the comments. If one person a day felt the urge to tell me how many people were thinking it and saying nothing?
Last semester, I kept seeing these magazine ads about how "red is wrong". I looked it up and it was for rosacea medicine. I was ecstatic, I convinced my parents to help me pay the ridiculous amount for a tube of it ($280) to give it a try. Now people would finally see past what I had had to deal with my whole life!
The first time I used it, it worked like a charm. I actually cried. I could leave the house without foundation and not be self-conscious... however, there was a catch. After the 8-10 hours it worked like a charm, my face would look almost purple, like I had been in a fight. It would get hot and tight and I would just stand in front of a fan chugging water trying to cool myself off. It was a nightmare, I had found something that was supposed to fix all my problems, and it ended up creating new ones. It was the carriage and I was Cinderella... but instead of it turning into a pumpkin at midnight, I just got a violent allergic reaction.
What I learned from all this was: 1. Holy crap medicine is expensive and 2. What I had been dealing with in the first place wasn't nearly as bad as the consequences I ended up dealing with in the end. My cheeks are healthy; there is nothing "wrong" with them. I just happen to have Irish coloring that really highlights them. Lately, I've decided to just embrace it. If somebody points them out, I answer, "I know that's just how I look". Not only do they always seem to feel like huge jerks, but also they get it's something I'm not ashamed of. This whole ordeal has taught me that sometimes it's better to just be proud of what you have and be confident in your own skin than to try and fix something that was meant to be.
