I believe that every person come into our life for a reason. They might not stay there forever, but even in the limited period of time, they teach us about life and ourselves. And here are some things I have learnt from my past relationships.
1. Shit Happens.
You get busy with your own life, one of you moves to another city, you start talking less and less with every passing day, and at one point, it just stops feeling like you’re even in a relationship. Sometimes, it’s not clearly one person’s fault when a relationship ends. Sometimes, your biggest enemy isn’t your partner... The real enemy is just life. It won't go as planned. It doesn’t give you time to adjust, and everything falls apart. Stop fighting for something that has stopped making you happy and set each other free to find your separate destinies.
2. Be confident in who you are as a person, and what you want.
You set standards for everything you do, so why shouldn’t your relationship be a part of that list? You won’t reach perfection, but you can get pretty damn close. Don’t settle for less just because you’re lonely or don’t think you deserve anything more. Everyone deserves a fairy-tale ending. It just takes a little faith, trust, and pixie dust.
3. Trust is one of the most important things.
This one is pretty self explanatory, right? Good. Lord, help the one that screws me over. My friends and family will find you. I promise.
4. You don't have to be with each other 24/7.
You both have your own life. You and your significant other have separate friends, and that is okay. Space is a beautiful thing my friends.I simply believe you shouldn’t have to sacrifice friendships for romantic relationships, especially if you were friends long before. It’s awesome that you get along with him or her so well and enjoy each others company, but taking one day out of the month for your other friends is not that hard to accommodate just to show that you still care. Depend on your significant other all you want, but be independent enough to say you need time with your friends that were there before your significant other was there, and will be there long after he or she has left you.
5. Love is beautiful, obsession is not.
Don’t cling to a sinking ship. If you find yourself in a relationship where there is a clear imbalance in level of commitment (often reflected in things like one partner craving more physical contact or time together than the other), then you might have a problem. If you find yourself constantly fighting over who you are spending time with, you have a problem.
6. Your partner does not own you, you are your own person.
This goes back to number 4. You have your own life and your own friends. You should not have to constantly be checking in with your SO to tell him or her what you are doing. This also relates with trust.
7. The honeymoon phase will end.
Those first few months where the two of you are still getting to know each other does end. Trust me, it does. That point where you are still exploring each other ends. It is the relationships that remain sturdy when this point is past that are healthy and strong. Like turns to love. If you make it here, count yourself fortunate.
8. Relationships are a two way street.
Somehow, amidst all of the romance and the chaos, we forget this fact. It all comes back to effort, once again. You shouldn’t have to give your all, if your significant other is only giving you half. Nothing feels worse than having your efforts go to waste. Even your feelings should be reciprocated. If they aren't, then how can you be secure in your relationship?
9. Listen to your friends and family!
Honestly, if you and your friends aren’t talking about your significant other or their potential as one, are you even really friends? Your closest friends and family can pick up on things that you can’t because it’s so easy to be blinded by infatuation. It’s always a good sign if your friends and family are excited for you, but it never bodes well if your friends have a poor opinion of your significant other. I wholeheartedly believe that your friends make or break the relationship.
10. Follow your gut feeling.
If you know this person is who you wanna be with, good for you, that is awesome! However if you have a feeling in your gut that something is wrong, follow it. Trust me on this one, I didn't follow my gut instinct, and it was not good.
11. You should never feel insecure while in the relationship.
I’m constantly reminded of my insecurities. Your relationship should not be one of them, period, end of story. Looking back at past relationships, I’m reminded of some where I know I just wasn’t myself. I was quiet and reserved, but I’m actually a very loud and outgoing person that loves being around my friends and family. I recall always feeling like I would do something wrong, even if I wasn't. On the other hand, I’ve remembered some where I was completely at ease, where I could be my goofy self and not feel judged at all. This is how it should be. You should never feel oppressed in a relationship or feel like you’re constantly being judged. Society does that enough to us; we don’t need the one person who should love every flaw and strength of ours to do the same.
