My Not So Secret Obsession

My Not So Secret Obsession

Weddings make me so happy!
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As a little girl, I used the beg my mom to buy me the bride Barbie. I wanted to be a corpse bride for Halloween so I could wear a fake wedding dress. I went over to my best friend's house down the street and we would watch Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings. When I went to my grandmother's house, I pulled my mom's wedding dress out and put it on! It almost fit me, but my mom and dad got married in 1991, so the shoulder pads went up to my ears and it had beads and pearls all over it. My favorite parts of a wedding and the planning process are the sparkly, fancy dress, the flowers, the venue, the shoes, and much more! I could go on forever! You better believe my wedding will be planned down to the tee.

When I got bored, I would start writing a fake story in which two characters get married, and I wrote their whole wedding day including every possible detail into the story. People asked me what I wanted to do when I got older, and I used to tell them I wanted to work at Kleinfeld in New York City and be a bridal consultant. Then I wanted to become a wedding planner. In my junior year of high school, we all had to find an unpaid internship for a week. I chose to work at a place near my house called Tiffany's Bridal and the Groom's Corner. I got to work with over one hundred wedding dresses everyday. Let's just say I was in pure heaven! I would tell the people that I was working with that this was my dream to be in the presence of brides and wedding dresses.

When I was a sophomore in high school, my dad married my stepmom. I got to try on bridesmaid dresses and look through all of the beautiful wedding dresses. In the spring of my sophomore year, a very close family friend got married in Texas. Then, in my junior year of high school, a family member of mine got married. In my freshman year of college, two of my very close family friends got married in October! This upcoming Saturday, November 19th, my cousin is getting married! Something special about her wedding is that she is getting married in the same church my grandma and grandpa got married in sixty-five years ago.

Yes, I have my dream wedding planned out on Pinterest. I couldn't have this obsession with weddings and not make up my own! Someday I will find the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I will be able to make (some of) the ideas come to life! What girl doesn't dream of her future wedding?

Cover Image Credit: Springfield Hotel

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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