OK, so you saw the title and probably weren't too excited to read this, but before you close the page and retaliate by listening to "All About That Bass," hear me out.
Body positivity is a great thing — no one should feel ashamed or embarrassed just because of their height, weight, skin color, etc. When the movement really took hold, I was more than excited. As someone who grew up overweight and only recently lost it, I've experienced body shaming more than once. Elementary school boys were less than kind, and I found myself in possession of names like Briana-boulder, which would have to be the one that stuck the most.
One day in the hall, a boy called me a boulder, and when I yelled at him, the teacher came out of the classroom, and I got in trouble for being noisy. As a kid, I never liked to go shopping, and I thought it was my "tomboy" stage, which definitely contributed, but looking back, it probably was because trying on clothing was so frustrating. As I grew up, and even now, there's been no worse feeling than trying on six shirts and only being able to fit into one or two.
My real beef with body positivity is where the media has gone with it. So many companies or singers or celebrities are sending the wrong message just as much as those they were trying to battle. It's obviously not all of them, but I've found that some have moved to a new form of body shaming — skinny shaming. Why do songs call women who are smaller "skinny bitches?" And why does Meghan Trainor say that "guys like a little more booty to hold at night?" I know plenty of girls who are naturally skinny, and they shouldn't be made to feel bad or that they're unattractive because they may not have curves like other women.
I think it's the weight loss that allowed me to develop my feelings about this movement. I felt that some aspects of media were telling me what I was doing wrong. I had friends and family cheering me on toward my goal, but I had YouTube videos and music of people who not only accepted their large size, but were praising it. I kept thinking to myself, is it wrong that I don't want to be overweight? Am I supposed to just accept my size and not want to change it? I wanted to make a change in my life, and I did, but I did so with a nudging in my side — my large but shrinking love-handled side.
I've found that my opinion isn't very popular when I first explain it. I think most people like body positivity at its face value and don't look at it like I do. But making the transition I did during a time where being big is not only accepted, but celebrated made me feel very in the middle. No girl or boy should grow up being called a boulder or tubby, but at the same time, they don't need to grow up being called twig or skinny bitch.
Body positivity was clearly set out to help a world of insecurities — the world that feels the need to photoshop or filter out flaws. If you go on your app store, you can find dozens of apps to warp your body and blend your face. I tested one out on an older picture of myself, and couldn't even find a way that made myself look like my current self.
Body positivity at its most basic level is loving yourself for the self you are, but I think we need a modifier on that. Love yourself for the self you are, but if you want to work on the self you are, that's OK too. I personally have a much easier time loving myself now that I'm treating my body better in terms of what I'm eating and how I'm exercising. I grew up with personal body negativity, and I finally worked on myself to become a me I can love a little more, even if there's a little less to love.
Skinny, fat, tall, short, dark-skinned or light — body positivity accepts it all, but I think that got lost a bit on the way. Just think about it next time you judge that girl with the thigh gap, the girl with a DD bra or the latest celebrity showing it all, because under it all, we face the same insecurities. Under it all, we just want to love ourselves, not what we're expected to be.
