My Mistake

9 months is a long time. A lot can happen within 9 months. A lot did happen, and after allowing myself 9 months of pure heartache, disappointment, and betrayal, I finally let you go. Letting you go was the scariest thing I did, because for those long months you were all that I knew. I was torn apart, confused and lost. I didn't know the direction my life was going at that point. Heartbroken was a very good word to describe how I felt, because of you I was so scared to allow anyone else to come into my life, I was afraid of trusting them and letting them in.

Then, it happened. It literally came out of no where, I didn't expect it and it took my by surprise, but it changed my life.

They say things happen when we least expect them too. I have also learned that people come into your life when you least expect them too, but when they're needed most. That is exactly what happened to me. I was not expecting to meet someone so soon after you tore me apart, I wasn't expecting them to change my entire lookout on the word "trust." I was not expecting to create such an amazing friendship with someone who was once basically just a stranger. I did though and it was difficult for me to let them into my life, I had a hard time opening up and I did not want to share my stories, but I did and within the short time I had known this person, I had learned to trust him.

Surprised? I was too, but he made it so easy. Some of the best friendships start this way and I am forever thankful for our friendship. He showed me how a girl should be treated, he showed me how I deserved to be treated and he was only a friend. For the longest time I thought the way you treated me was what I deserved, I thought it was normal, but when I met him, everything changed. You broke me down and made me feel less than average. When you exited my life, my friends noticed a change in me, sad at first, but then happiness. They constantly told me how bad you were, but how great he was. Because of you though, I was so scared to let myself fall for him.

I would tell myself constantly that I did not deserve someone as kind as him, or that he was way too good for me. Those thoughts were because of you, because of the way you molded my mind to think, I was convinced I was never enough.

Thankfully you've been out of my life for almost a year. I want to thank you though, thank you for the memories and the good times we did have, because of you I learned to love harder and not to trust so easy. I also want you to know how happy I am now, you may have ruined my mood for a few months but now I am better than ever. You made me scared to fall for someone cause I thought I would end up hurt, but here I am, I fell and I am not damaged, or bruised. I am perfectly okay.

It's all very new, and even if the feelings aren't mutal I know I wont end up hurt, I won't get my heart broken, and I won't be scared, do you want to know why? I'll tell you, because the great thing about him is that within these past 8 months, he has been a way better friend, then you ever were. And I gave you the title "boyfriend" guess that was My Mistake.