There is a couple on my dorm hallway that I seem to always see fighting. She’ll be using a loud, and rather aggressive, tone about something he did or didn’t do and he’ll be rolling his eyes, trying to find his way out of the active mine field alive. I hear them from the stairwell and dread seeing them and awkwardly passing them in the hall. (They always fight in the hall. No, it’s okay. Air your dirty laundry out for the whole of Shipp to hear. Please, carry on.)
They are the couple that makes me say, “Thank God I’m single.”
And then there is another type of couple.
My friends Mick and Julia have been dating since Julia and I were freshman in high school. They are like two puzzle pieces; they fit together so perfectly and so naturally. We referred to them as the school’s “old married couple” because in every way, but literally, they were. They did everything together, and I mean everything. I never saw one without the other. It became an accepted occurrence to see them both attached at the hip. And here’s the thing: no one complained about them being so consumed with each other. That’s just how perfect they were together. To this day they are still together and have been planning their lives accordingly, as a shock to no one.
They are the couple that makes me say, “God, why can’t I have that?”
Therein lies my inner turmoil.
I don’t want to deal with the arguments, the tears, the petty squabbles, or the eventual and inevitable break up… but I do. I want someone attached to my hip that I can always rely on and talk to. Someone to plan my life with and binge watch Netflix with (the latter of those two being the most essential).
I’ve come to understand one thing: no couple, not even Mick and Julia (sorry guys), is Mick and Julia. Every couple fights, every couple has its rough patches, every couple fights about leaving the toilet seat up or not using coasters.
That’s what a relationship is.
That’s why I don’t want one.
And it’s also why I do want one.
Maybe I’m just too young to understand that the bad in relationships are also the good. I’m 19, for crying out loud. I haven’t even truly lived on my own yet. How can I comprehend a true relationship? One with all of its fighting and tender moments. I literally don’t understand how a couple can have a fight, like a storming out of the room, not speaking to each other fight, and STILL love each other and be together.
Does this come with age?
Is it just a person I have to meet that is my matching puzzle piece that will help me understand?
Am I just too bitter?
Am I too lazy?
These are the questions!
So with this, I leave you: what was your “ah-ha” moment with your significant other, when you realized nothing would affect how much you loved or cared about them? Have you had that moment with anyone yet? Does that moment even exist? Or is it dependent on the type of person you are?
