If you were on social media on the days following July 30th, you may or may not have come across this phrase, in some form: "Gloria DeHaven dies at age 91." For some, this was nothing more than an unfamiliar name paired with a black and white film still — a story among a slew of other celebrity headlines. For others, this story was shocking and sad. Fans of an actress most prominent over 60 years ago commented with condolences and compliments, citing how much they enjoyed her films and how much they appreciated her spunk and charm. For me and my family, this was not just a story. It wasn't just some name trending on Facebook. It was not simply a headline, nor just another notice of a star's demise. It was the official publication of my grandmother, my mother's mothers', passing. Over the next week, the stories faded and headlines dwindled. Not that people stopped caring, but perhaps the media moved on, as it so aptly does. For my family, there is something real behind those headlines. There is now a permanent void. Hollywood and the "Golden Age" lost a star, while we lost our one and only, GG.
She was definitely unique. In fact, the entire situation was unique. Not many kids could tell their friends that their grandma was friends with that lady that played Dorothy, or kissed Frank Sinatra. Some didn't even believe me. But, it was true! Gloria DeHaven was my grandma. In case you haven't heard of her, my grandma was a real movie star. Having acted in her first film at the age of 9, she boasted an illustrious film and television career. In fact, that career spanned all the way until 1997, as she appeared in her final silver screen performance as Vivian in "Out to Sea". She acted with the likes of Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney, Lucille Ball and many, many more. Don't get me wrong, I loved to tell anyone and everyone who my Grandma was. I was proud and frankly astonished, at how successful and talented she really was. However, no matter how many fan letters she received, I never truly grasped how widespread the love for her was. That is, until her passing.
The outpouring of love was immense. I have heard stories from people all over the world abut how much joy her movies brought to them. How her sense of humor and beauty helped them escape, if only for the duration of a musical, the struggles of everyday life. To so many, she was a big star who they knew only through the big screen. For me, she was so much more. She was my mother's mom, caring, gentle and loving. She had a true passion for what she did professionally, yet cared deeply for her family and friends. She was and always will be, my Grandma Gloria.
My loss has truly put into perspective not only the transcendent talent my GG possessed but also the appreciation I have for film. While many people who lose loved ones are never able to hear their voice again, or see them smile once more, I can. Anytime I am needing to hear her laugh or listen to her beautiful voice, I can. I understand that, fundamentally, films are made to make money and entertain people. Those are the reasons. But in my case, and in the case of all of my grandma's family and fans, film has encapsulated memories and created a permanent channel through which all who loved her may reminisce. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
"I had the privilege of watching great actors at MGM. That was better than going to any class. Today kids struggle - they have to be waitresses and bartenders while waiting to get a break. Every hour at MGM was a joy! My years there were golden, a wonderful time! I will never regret one moment." — Gloria DeHaven
Loss and grief are extreme emotions, hard to manage and move on from. However, I know my GG. I know that she would want nothing less than for every single person who admired, loved and cherished her, to smile today and every day.
I would like to dedicate this article to my mom, Faith Finkelstein.
Mom — I cannot imagine your pain but want you to know how deeply you are loved. You will never forget GG, as the world will never forget her. She is with you in your heart.
