My First Year Of College Struggle
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Health and Wellness

My First Year Of College Struggle

The subject I'm no longer afraid to talk about.

My First Year Of College Struggle
Alana Magro

Although most seniors in high school spend their last few months of school anticipating leaving for college, I was a bit different. As much as I tried to get pumped for starting school in August, I remained anxious and nervous. When it was time for me to pack my bags and load up the car, I was confused as to why I didn’t feel an ounce of excitement. All of my other friends couldn’t wait to leave home - why didn’t I feel the same?

At first I was embarrassed to discuss certain struggles I had throughout my freshman year of college. I didn’t want people to know that the adjustment was hard for me or that I was constantly homesick. Most of my high school friends who had gone to different colleges were constantly posting Snapchat stories of them going to parties or big events, but I had no desire to go out during the week or even on the weekends. I preferred to go home on the weekends and spend time with my family. The first few weekends that I went home, I didn’t tell many people I was home because I was ashamed. The last thing I wanted people to think was that I was the kid who went home all the time. Regardless, I became that person who went home during weekends, and over time, I cared less what people thought about me.

In high school, people would typically deem me an extrovert; however, once college started, I became the complete opposite. I kept to myself, had a few close friends and regularly dodged conversation with others. I didn’t really recognize myself, and all I wanted was to be home with friends and family. I focused on schoolwork so much that it was impossible for me to have time for anything else. Since there was such a large concentration on school, that came with a lot of self-induced pressure. Anxiety and stress kept me from sleeping properly, and I would try to make the days go by as quickly as possible until it was Friday and I could come home to my family.

I never liked to talk about how my first year was a hard adjustment because I didn’t like to be different from all of my friends. I wanted to be the student who fit perfectly into their college and instantly felt comfortable. But I have learned that I take a while to adjust to new environments. Maybe my freshman year wasn’t the easiest, but I still learned a crazy amount since my first day. I’ve learned more about my school, my friends, my capabilities and myself. I would not change anything if I had the option to, and as my sophomore year approaches, I know that I’m going to start off stronger than ever. Struggling this year has helped me grow as a person and a student. Everyone reacts to new situations differently, and as much as I wished to be the girl who immediately felt right at home at her new school, that wasn't me. But that doesn’t mean it never will be.

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