People join Greek Life for many reasons. For me, growing up in Pennsylvania and then choosing to go to the University of Maine was already a huge step for me to begin with. I’m not big into parties or large crowds for that matter because of my social anxiety. In high school, I never felt like I was welcomed and often found myself feeling alone and excluded from a lot of things.

I struggled a lot with family tragedy and mental health issues with a very critical support system. I wanted more from my college experience. I wanted, I needed the next few years in Maine to shape me into a strong, confident, and well-rounded woman.

The week before classes, I had the opportunity to attend a “Boot Camp” for students entering the Marine Science program as a kind of teaser to see what was to come. There I met a senior marine science major Jen Field who probably had changed my life, I just didn’t know it yet.

I had been tossing around the idea of going through formal recruitment and joining a sorority, but like many people, I had some pretty nasty misconceptions. Jen told me about how her sisters pushed her to be the woman she is today and that even on her worst days, they were there for her and supported her through everything she did. After that day, I was sold and decided to sign up for formal recruitment.

Formal recruitment

Fall formal recruitment at UMaine was a shock to my system. There were so many girls who were just going through the process, and there were even more on the other side. The first day, I was terrified. Even though it was a brief meeting explaining the process, it was scary.

They assigned us to 12 groups and we met our Rho Gammas, aka girls who disaffiliate from their sorority for the formal recruitment process to act as an unbiased guidance in finding the right sorority for you. We did a little group bonding activity too and just like that day 1 was done.

The next few days consisted of lining up and walking into rooms of energetic chanting girls, clapping, philanthropy, sisterhood, and talking, lots and lots of talking. The day before bid day is called Preference Round, or Pref Night. It’s where you’re down to 2 sororities and they each share a small part of them and their roots with the girls.

I was a nervous wreck, and I went in thinking I had my mind made up, but I left having no idea. I talked to one girl, Erica, and totally spilled my guts about my entire life’s story.

I didn’t know what came over me, but I just felt so okay with telling this person all about my struggles and hardships that I’ve endured. She made me feel safe and at home. I looked around at the faces of the other sisters and knew that I’d be back. I went to bed that night with a feeling in my gut that I was, in fact, making the right decision, and I had this feeling I knew where I was going to end up.

Bid day

Bid day felt like Christmas. We all went into this huge lecture hall and waited for our Rho Gamma’s to give us our bids. (A bid is like a formal way for a sorority to invite you to join their sisterhood). We all opened them at the same time once everyone had theirs, and I was shocked. I never expected myself to even get a bid in the first place. I never expected myself to actually go through with it, but I got my t-shirt and ran to my new sisters. I found Erica and hugged her so tight because she is what sealed the deal for me.

New member period

The new member period was around 8-10 weeks, and what this is, is the period of time from when you accept your bid up until you’re initiated. Most if not all sororities will require new members take special classes to learn about the sorority, it's traditions, philanthropy, and values. The first week of school before I went through recruitment was rough for me. Most of it is my own fault, I am very selective about who I spend my time with. I was nervous to be in a group of people so I was always off by myself doing my thing.

I was lonelier than ever before and during recruitment. All of that changed once I joined my sorority. I had 40 new people who were there for me and I knew that at any time if I fell, they’d pick me up and guide me through.

Already, when I had to take my biology exams, I had sisters sending me copies of their old exams to study from and inviting me to the library. The campus didn’t feel so big and scary anymore because I saw a sister almost everywhere I went, or at least someone I recognized from recruitment.

Big/Little

This was possibly the greatest moment(s) during the new member period. One day, I was having a crisis and rushed to the student union where all the sisters hang out for support but the tables were empty. I remembered that we were tabling downstairs and went there to find what would become my big and gbig packing up. I got to talking and became very close with Alex.

A month or so after this, we had big/little speed dating, where all the sisters who wanted to be a big got to sit down and meet all the potential littles. I went in hoping I could snag Jen's little to be my big, but then I met Kayla and the ball game changed.

After we had to rank who we wanted to be our big, and again I was in a tough position. For the next week after, every day we got clues. Clue week had me so up and down. All my clues were pointing to one person and then another, and I was so confused. I had a book where I just scratched down my theories, and the anticipation was almost too much.

Finally, when reveal day came, I was so happy to find out it was Kayla, making Alex my gbig and now we have this happy little pham-ily.

Initiation

After the eight-ish long weeks, the day finally came where I became a part of a beautiful sisterhood. I became an official sister to 40 some wonderful strong and able women. Throughout the process, I was sometimes scared, but I never felt alone.

Although sometimes I did question if I truly wanted to devote myself and my life to this sisterhood, or if a sorority was really the best thing for me. During the initiation ceremony was the first time I was sure I had found my home. It was the first time I was positive that I made the right choice accepting my bid.

I can already see how my sorority has changed my life and I can't wait to see the places it takes me.