My Cat Bullies Me
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My Cat Bullies Me

When is enough enough?

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My Cat Bullies Me

While I am a die hard cat fan and love everything about those precious little fur balls, I can list quite a few cats who are widely known for their evil, deceitful personalities.

For example, Lucifer in Cinderella. While not an important character, this demonic cat is recognized as being the lazy jerk that bullied the cute little mice and made Bruno look like the agitator.

Next up we have the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. Personally, one if my favorite cat characters, however, he is a sneaky little feline. He confuses Alice and disappears when she needs him the most. What a jerk.

Another cat known for his grumpy and villianous behavior is none other than Tom from Tom and Jerry. He is always nosing into Jerry's business and being a rude nuisance. Jerry never instigates. Ever.

If you're a Disney fanatic like me, you remember the evil Siamese cats that taunt Lady in Lady and the Tramp. They sing that horribly obnoxious song about their origin that torments not only Lady, but the baby, and the innocent pet fish, "Do you see that thing swimming round and round, maybe we can reach on in and make it drown, if we sneaking up on it carefully, there will be a head for you and a tail for me." If that's not disturbing and hateful, I don't know what is.

One more power seeking, antagonist cat is the ever so fluffy Snowbell from Stuart Little. They end up becoming allies, but in the beginning that is not the case. Stuart Little's life is challenging enough. The last thing he needs is selfish cat bothering him and taking advantage of his size. Maybe he's just bitter because his name is Snowbell.

Now there's one more demonic cat I'd like to add to this fun little list. His name is Lincoln.

I never really understood why people thought that cats were devious creatures until I met Lincoln. Lincoln is my cat, and Lincoln does whatever the heck he wants. For instance, a couple of days ago I had set some frozen chicken on the counter to thaw for dinner. I went to class, and when I came back one of the chicken breasts was missing. I looked on the floor and there sat the empty chicken packet. Lincoln was lounging very contently on the couch licking his lips. I could have sworn he was smirking at me.

The next night, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza. We sat down to eat it, and Lincoln jumped up on to the table to investigate our plates. He walked straight over to my boyfriend's plate, looked up at him lovingly, and then quickly snatched the entire slice of pizza and ran off into the bathroom with it. Really??? We probably would have given him some had he been patient and polite.

A few days later, I was making my breakfast (microwavable grits, whoooo go college life), and Lincoln was already on the counter trying to stick his head in my bowl. I pushed him off of the counter at least 5 times, put my grits in the microwave, and then proceeded to pack my lunch for the day. Once my grits were ready, I sat down on the couch to eat them. Lincoln hopped up on the couch, looked me straight in the eyes, and dropped his head down into my bowl. Trying to remain calm and remember that he's just an animal, I repeatedly put him back on the floor. Eventually he gave up. I few moments later I heard a loud crash and looked up to find that Lincoln had knocked my lunchbox on to the floor, causing all of its contents to tumble out. Finally I lost my cool, jumped up, screamed at him, and picked up my lunch. When I was finished, Lincoln had eaten half of my grits. We feed him twice daily. He is anything but starving, yet he is still a little scrounger and proud of it.

Just yesterday, I was sitting on the couch watching Netflix and Lincoln jumped up next to me. He started walking closer and then proceeded to climb into my lap. I got excited, hoping maybe he was offering his apologies. Wrong. He climbed straight up to my neck, grabbed my pearl necklace in his mouth, and began trying to tug it off of my neck. After I finally was able to pry the pearl out of his mouth, he latched on to a large strand of my hair and began to chew and rip.

Later on in the evening, I heard a strange noise and walked into the kitchen to find Lincoln shredding one of the rugs. There were tiny blue fabric pieces laying all around. When I leaned down to stop him he immediately turned on me and clawed my hand leaving two pleasant little cat slices.

He doesn't respond to discipline. He doesn't back off when you raise your voice. If you throw him off the counter 100 times, he jumps back up with the same determination 101 times. If you pop him and say "NO!", he looks you straight in the eyes and pops you back. He's fearless, relentless, and driving me insane. I do my best to be a good parent, but sometimes I'd really like to lock him in a closet. I remind myself to take the high road and don't stoop to his level.

What has my life come to?



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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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