Every year for as long as I can remember, my parents have asked my siblings and I to make a Christmas list for them. This way, they don't have to buy gifts with a 50/50 shot of us liking them or not. Up until this year, without fail, I have been able to compile some sort of list consisting of the newest electronics, trendiest clothes, CD's, and whatever else I think I need that year. I mean it shouldn't be that hard, right? It's literally a list of things I want that I don't already have. Why then has this list become such a struggle for me this year? I know my Christmas lists have consistently gotten shorter over the years, but I can’t even come up with a single thing I want my parents to get me. Why?
This past week I have been contemplating this question a lot, and I think I’ve finally realized why my list is still blank ten days short of Christmas. It’s not because I don’t want anything, as I’m sure I could come up with something if I tried hard enough, rather it’s because everything that I want is immaterial.
This past year has brought many changes to myself as well as my family. I lost one of the greatest men in my life, my dad retired after 38 years, I finished my first year of college, my sister graduated high school, my brother practically surpassed my entire family in height, and we’ve all grown much stronger in our faith over the course of the year. With such huge changes, the things I once thought were important, now seem so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. The toys and gifts that once covered my Christmas lists are now replaced with blank spaces. I’ve recently come to realize the things I want can no longer be bought, but must be experienced.
I want to lay in my parent’s bed and watch episodes of The Voice with my dad. I want to sit in the living room with my mom and talk about anything and everything until the wee hours of the morning. I want to watch stupid movies with my brother while we argue over who gets the remote. I want to reminisce on the ridiculous things me and my sister used to do when we were younger. I want to visit with my grandparents and listen to stories of when they were growing up. I want to talk about the crazy things my grandpa used to do and how he was the best thing that ever happened to Yarmouth, Iowa. I want to create memories that will last a lifetime.
This Christmas, when I sit around with my family and friends, I’m going to make sure I take it all in. Every smile, every story, every moment. Although my Christmas list may remain blank every year from here on out, that does not mean I will not receive everything I want. The greatest gift I will ever receive is simply the love and joy I get from being surrounded by the best people in the world. After realizing this, I think my blank Christmas list might just be the best list I’ve made yet.
