As relationships develop, blossom, and come to a close, it is seldom heard of that the two people involved remain friends. However, in my experience, my best friend went from being my boyfriend and right back to my best friend. Our breakup was an essential part of our relationship that benefited both of us as individuals. Inevitably, we chose to put our differences aside and realized that even though we did not work as a couple, we definitely work as besties.
This all began in middle school when we first met and became good friends. Crushes were had, but this aspect of our relationship did not come about until much later. As our friendship became stronger, we spent an increasingly large amount of time together. At school, we were almost inseparable, and at home, we were always texting, skyping or calling. He learned all of my likes and dislikes and I his. We traded secrets and played twenty questions on the phone. Our relationship became one of the best memories of my middle school experience.
Having a male friend that I could tell everything to and spend most of my time with was a new and healthy relationship for me. He became such an important part of my life. So, when we finally had a conversation about romantic feelings for each other, the main caveat to exploring these feelings was jeopardizing our friendship. We made a deal with one another that no matter what happens between us, friendship came first. I remember this conversation and cherish it to this day. It signified, for me, the importance and value of our genuine connection as friends.
Most people ask us how this kind of relationship is still possible after romantic feelings are introduced. When looked at from the outside, many people also believe that our feelings must be unresolved. How else can this kind of dynamic work unless you are in denial and still in love? Well, we have found that the kind of support system, which is built after a long-term relationship ensues, does not deteriorate just because the romantic aspect of the relationship ends.
I have also come to realize that even though these outside questions are only natural, it is more important for me to know where we stand in our friendship than to continuously weigh the concerns of other people.
We still have the same emotional bond that we had when we were a couple, but have transferred that dynamic back into our friendship and have come out better for it. Friendship is what we always knew so it is the most natural course for our relationship to take. Regardless of what others say, I have found one of my lifelong best friends, and he happens to be my ex.
