Ever since I was young, I've known that I don't believe in God. And no, I didn't grow up in a churchless hell-scape. I grew up hopping from one Christian denomination to the next, spending the longest amount of time as a Methodist. I went to Sunday school, my family said grace before dinner and I even got my own personal Bible. Granted, my parents were never very religious or spiritual, but Church was a part of our familial routine, at least for a while. I spent a good amount of time trying to believe because I felt that I was supposed to. Nothing tragic happened to me that would make me question the existence of a god. It just never felt right. And so by the time I was a teenager, I was certain. I didn't believe in a god of any kind.
For a while, I kept that reality private, even though religious beliefs often influence behavior and come up in conversation. I was conditioned by my early Christian roots to believe that sharing my beliefs would be an insult to believers and would invite defensive, judgmental discourse. I bowed my head during invocations and said "One Nation, Under God" every day when my school said the Pledge of Allegiance, even though it meant nothing to me. I learned to respect the faith of others by never publicly demonstrating my lack of belief and rarely received the same respect whenever my views would become known.
Because of that judgment, I went through an "Angry Atheist Phase". I was sick of it. I had lost friends because of my religious beliefs by the time I was in fourth grade and was told publicly that I was "going to hell" by ninth. I was convinced that all believing people would patronize me until the day I died (and went to hell) and so I stopped being respectful. I started making it obvious that I thought religion was stupid and didn't care who I hurt in the process. Ultimately, my atheism went through its own teenage angst, rolling its eyes at anyone who opposed it.
It wasn't until I neared the end of high school that I started to feel that anger dissipate. I realized that it didn't matter what people believed as long as they were good-hearted and living by their word. I realized that other people's responses to my lack of faith was more instinctual than intentional, and that, generally, they didn't mean to make me feel alien. It was then that I came to the realization that I didn't "become" atheist to challenge the faith of others. It's just what I connect with. Of course, I do feel tempted from time to time to question another on their faith (I'm having trouble not doing it right now), but I try my best not to take it to the point of judgment. I always consider three things: are they moral, are they compassionate, do they have integrity? That is how I try to determine the character of those around me, not with some irrelevant difference in philosophy.
In the end, all I'm trying to say is that atheists are not jerks.
Well, of course, some are jerks, there are jerks in every demographic, but that's neither here nor there.
All I'm trying to say is that some people go through religious questioning and don't come out of it with faith. I questioned Christianity for my entire childhood and I never found God like many people I love have, but that doesn't mean I'm better or worse than them. I am not an atheist to test your faith. No need to educate me, to try to justify your beliefs to me. I simply want to be able to share my beliefs just as any other person does, and not have them taken as a stab to another's.
I know that this article in itself will be taken offensively by some people, but what can you do?
