I read posts all the time about anxiety and "what people with anxiety want you to know" and "what anxiety is really like." All that is great, but not all anxiety is the same and I think it's important to highlight that. I thought it would be good for me, as well as anyone reading this, to talk about what my personal experiences with anxiety are like.

Anxiety isn't just worrying. It's more than that. It's not something that is easily controlled.

One minute you are looking at your beautiful puppy and all of a sudden you are thinking about taking her on a walk and going on a different route next time. Normal thought right? But it doesn't stop there... Next you are envisioning the two of you walking on this new route and all of a sudden her collar comes unclipped, which would never happen, and now she's running into the street because she's scared. You try to catch her but a silver SUV runs over her little foot and you have to run up the street to the vet clutching your poor squish-pawed puppy...

You know that this is ridiculous. You know that nothing like this will probably ever happen to anyone, ever, but somehow the thought crossed your mind anyway. It's like the most intense day dream. More like a day nightmare because it's always something awful.

You feel your throat getting dry and your heart start to race in panic. Your insides are ready to jump right out of your skin. "But this is nothing. This will never happen," you tell yourself over and over but for some reason it just doesn't go away. The anxiety turns into a small nagging feeling and you go on about your day.

You eat breakfast and take your morning anti-anxiety pills and hope that they work. You're not sure if they are even real. You think they might just be sugar pills and you're part of some secret study where they monitor your anxiety by giving you nothing at all...You stop. You think for a minute and realize yet again that this isn't true and continue on about your morning.

You get ready for work and head on down the highway. You look at your clock that you have set 11 minutes fast because you are always late because you spend so much time worrying about random events of the morning. You drive at least 75 MPH to make up for the time you already lost. You get to work and take a minute alone in your car to try to calm down.

You do your breathing exercise from therapy and focus on how your body is feeling. You have no idea what it's trying to tell you so you decide to go with your tried and true method of "fake it 'til you make it."

You set up your classroom for the day and stand in the same spot you do every morning signing the children in as their parents drop off. You start to sweat so you roll up your sleeves and try to take a deep breath but it feels like your chest isn't big enough.

Somehow you make it through the day and get home. You are mentally exhausted and have zero motivation to do the dishes that have been sitting in the sink for three days. You want to do them because your boyfriend always does them and you know that isn't fair. You tell yourself that you'll just watch one episode of your new binge show on Netflix and then you will get up the energy to do them. Hours later you are still on the couch and are too tired to do anything so you just take the dog out one last time and go to bed. Knowing that you'll try harder tomorrow to do the things you want to do.

You feel alone sometimes because you feel like you are "faking it 'til you make it" just a little too well and no one notices you drowning in your own mind. You feel like no one understands how much work you put into each minute of every day. You sometimes don't even realize your accomplishments because you think it should just be done. You should be doing these things because that's what "normal people" do.

Don't let this take away from the fact that you have done something difficult for you. It might be a piece of cake for someone else. It might not even be a thought in someone's mind but you did it. You were able to have that difficult conversation with that parent that intimidates you. You made it to work on time. You took a shower and had time to blow dry your hair. You are lovely in your own right and you should be proud of every single thing you accomplish, small or large.

I hope that this article makes you feel something. I know that I did while writing it.