Having your heart broken is one of the hardest things for someone to handle. Having your heart broken more than once? Well, that’s an even harder pill to swallow. You gave it all you had. You loved so much. Maybe you loved too much?
As they say, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” You truly start blaming yourself – What did I do wrong? How could I let this happen to me, again? Why wasn’t it enough? Why wasn’t I enough?
The questions you ask yourself seem to pile up and there is no one to answer them, not with the answers you want to hear anyway. You want to go back. You wish you would have done things differently. “Maybe if I did this we would still be together. Maybe if I didn’t do that we would still be together.” The thoughts run on-and-on.
Music is one of the best emotional outlets I have found throughout my life. More recently, though, I have found myself listening (and loving) country songs that help tell my story of my heartbreak. I sing them as loud as I possibly can in the shower, my room, my car—anywhere. This personally helps me truly feel the emotions I have racing through my head, but most importantly, through my heart.
1. First, you start reminiscing on the good times.
You often listen to those happy love songs that, at this point, seem just too good to be true. My favorite song for this stage of a heartbreak is “Die A Happy Man” by Thomas Rhett.
“If I never get to see the Northern lights
or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night.
Oh if all I got
is your hand in my hand
Baby I could die
a happy man.”
I mean, come on! Does this sort of love even exist? The answer is yes. So, start believing in love again. You might be heartbroken right now, but love is out there for everyone. Rhett nailed it for all the women who are looking for true love. Rhett and his wife Lauren are living examples that this love exists. Just watch the video and it will prove my point. Goals.
2. You start to realize that dealing with the break-up for the girl is often quite different than the guy.
Queue “Different for Girls” by Dierks Bentley.
“It's different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke
They don't take someone home and act like it's nothing
They can't just switch it off every time they feel something
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
But it's different for girls.”
Honestly, how do guys do it sometimes? I know I can’t speak for all women, but having my heart broken, I found it hard to get out of the house and even get out of bed sometimes. I love this song because it is written and performed by a male, who notices and is drawing attention to the fact that break-ups truly are different for women than they are for men and it isn’t easy.
3. Now, you try to blend back in to your life before your significant other.
Your friends are there for you, but you just had your heart broken, you don’t feel the same as the person they once met. Queue “That Don’t Sound Like You” by Lee Brice.
“What did he do?
'Cause baby you don't sound like you anymore
Oh, anymore
That town, that job, that guy
You can leave them behind, girl, you know you're better than that
If you want to come back, you can come back.”
Relationships can sometimes change a person—for better or for worse. This is for those who have lost part of themselves. You may not believe it, but you can leave that part of your life behind. If you want to be you again, you can. It is up to you to make that decision.
4. Suddenly, you start to feel better.
You are finding yourself again. You are… happy? For this stage, we have my favorite song, “It Don’t Hurt Like It Used To” by Billy Currington.
“Hey, hey, what can I say?
I can just lie and say it's all okay
Oh-ho, what can I do?
Been goin' through hell gettin' over you
But it don't hurt, it don't hurt like it used to
No, it don't hurt, it don't hurt like it used to.”
When I sing this one obnoxiously in my car, I feel a true relief. Finally getting out back into the world and everything seems to be getting better. Yes, the heartbreak is still there. Yes, there are still times you break down and cry; yes, it has been hell, but it doesn’t hurt as bad anymore.
5. Lastly is when you finally let go.
Queue “That’s When You Know It’s Over” by Lee Brice.
“When you can look at her picture and not wanna kiss her no more,
When you don't feel like you've been hit by a train at the sound of someone saying her name anymore
When you can drive down the road and not be afraid of what's playing on the radio
[chorus]
That's when you'll know it's over
That's when you've made it
Over to the other side, ready for another ride
That's when you'll know it's over.”
This song truly speaks for itself. Take a listen. That’s when you know it’s over.
Having your heartbroken sucks, but it won’t suck forever. Dealing with a break-up isn’t easy, but these stages will all benefit you. You may not think so, but eventually, it does get easier. Don’t be afraid to love again.
