Moving Out: What to Expect Emotionally

Moving out: something everyone has to face, whether you've planned for it your whole life and absolutely can't wait, or you've been dreading it and avoiding it until now. There's so much to plan for including where you'll be moving to, who you'll be living with, when you'll be moving, how you'll budget and save, and how you'll pack and move everything. But no one really prepares you for what to expect emotionally. Moving out is emotionally draining. There are so many emotions you'll go through on top of the stress of everything else.

1. Prepare for emotional parents

The few weeks before you actually move out they may seem perfectly fine. They're excited, they're helping you plan, they're giving you advice, but on the inside they're freaking out. They will unleash all the emotions the first night you are gone. You have to be understanding. Their whole lives have revolved around you and your siblings. They have to go home to your bedroom being empty, your car being gone, and your company being gone. They have become accustomed to your routines and habits for the past 18 or more years. It's a traumatic experience for them. They may go through withdrawals, and it will be hard to see them so sad. You may feel guilty. Comfort them and remind them what great parents they are. Let them know they have done the best job preparing you for this new chapter, and you will stay in touch and visit as much as you can. To them, you're still their precious baby and it's hard to let go. Reassure them that you're excited, prepared, and promise to call if you need any help.

2. Emotional parents will make you emotional

Unless you're the toughest cookie out there, seeing your parents so torn up about you moving out will make you emotional. You'll start to remember all the good times you had, how grateful you are for everything they did for you, and you'll realize that now that you're out it will never be the same. No more nightly movie nights, no more Dad's Breakfast on Sundays, no more "Mom, what's for dinner?" and no more parent waking you up because you slept through your alarm(s). It's very hard and stressful to go from completely dependent to completely independent in one day. Remember that you can take things day by day, and you CAN handle adult things. You'll always have great memories of your childhood, and you can always go visit your family when your schedule allows. It's time to learn how to do things for yourself. Remember your past, do your best in the present, and prepare for the future.

3. You will actually miss your siblings.

At home, your siblings are annoying. They tell on you, they eat the last of your favorite snack, they steal your clothes, they hog the TV, and the use all the hot water taking a 4 hour shower. When you move out, they won't be there anymore. Unless you have a twin and they can be your roommate, which would be really nice and even more traumatic for your parents. But if you don't have a twin, you won't be living with your siblings anymore. Your siblings are your built in playmates. They're so fun to pick on because they always forgive you. They understand life with your parents, they listen to all of your gossip and give you advice. It's so sad not seeing them all the time. But you can still text them every single day. Share your experiences with them. Moving out may even strengthen your friendship with your siblings. Now that you're not living together and annoying each other you'll miss each other enough to have nice, normal conversations. You can even have them over for sleepovers.

4. Leaving your pets may be the hardest part

If you're anything like me, your pets are your babies. You'd literally take a bullet for them and die knowing that you did the right thing. My dog is my best friend. He slept with me every night, I took him outside every morning before I even had time to go to the bathroom, he always got tastes of my dinner when no one was looking, sometimes he rode in the car with me, and my family called him "my shadow" because he always followed me around. Unless you live somewhere where animals are permitted, or your family is OK with you taking the family pet, you will have to go without them. This has probably been the cause of most of my tears. It's so hard to let go. It's hard to leave when their precious little faces don't realize what's happening. You need to remember that they are more comfortable in the house they have grown up in. They'll miss you just as much as you miss them, but they'll have the rest of your family to spoil them and keep them company. You can visit, ask your family members for pictures, and maybe even FaceTime. And when you do visit, it will be like no time has passed and they'll love you just the same.

5. You will be overwhelmed.

You now have so many new responsibilities. Your bank account will be dropping quickly. You'll have so many things to organize and find a place for. You'll have to make meals for yourself. You'll have to do your laundry. You'll need to clean. You'll need to save. You'll need to buy groceries. You'll need to pay rent. You'll need gas. So many things to worry about. Just remember that millions of people do this adult thing. It's stressful at first, but day by day you'll get the hang of it. Make a small checklist each day and do no more and no less than what's on the list. Give yourself time to breathe and relax so you're not too overwhelmed. Before you know it, it will have been days, weeks, months that you've been doing this. It will be second nature. You can adult.