“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” - Ann Landers

People have the ability to leave your life just as quickly as they came into it. We replay the day they left, the way they left, our last words, and look for the reasons they left. Some are obvious. Sometimes we make mistakes. We’re human and everyone makes mistakes. However, sometimes people leave without warning, without good reason, and with no intention of explaining themselves. Those people are the ones who cause the most pain. Recently, I have lost a very important person in my life without any warning or preface. I was confused and angry and had no idea what to do with myself for a couple days. I cried and typed out messages to send and deleted them because I knew nothing would fix it.

This past weekend, I went to Lake Murray in South Carolina with one of my favorite people in the world. She has almost always been there for me and she is one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. Over the course of the weekend, I slowly began to feel OK again. I realized things about friendship and love that I hadn’t quite come to terms with, and it truly opened my eyes to reality.

There is a point where holding on to someone who has already let go is no longer worth the struggle or effort. Why put your feelings on the line for someone who has already moved on? I will agree that it is easier said than done, and as someone who cares for people much more than they do in return, I have had so much trouble with this. But I’ve also gotten stronger and happier. I have my downfalls sure. We all do. However, I refuse to let people walk all over me. If you want to leave my life, OK. It’s not my place to stop you. I will not try for someone who won’t do the same for me. I refuse to fight for a friendship that is one-sided. If you want to try to break me down to my lowest point, OK. I won’t let you. I am strong, and I will stay strong.

I wish more people had this mindset. I still don’t fully have it, as I get upset sometimes about the people I’ve lost. But I have come to terms with the face that I can’t force anyone to love me. People view letting go as giving up. They say it’s weak and that you should fight for everything and everyone that you love in this world, but if the people I love don’t love me back or want our friendship as much as I do, the reasons to hold on are slim to none. I view letting go as even stronger than holding on. If you love someone so much you’re willing to let them leave your life because you weren’t good enough for their needs, I applaud you. That is real strength. And that is something I wish everyone realized.

I love my friends. They bring me the most joy in the world and I don’t know what I would do without them. I have always thought of myself as a good friend. I listen, give the best advice I can for a situation, and love my friends unconditionally. Sometimes, I guess that isn’t enough. I lost one of my best friends I have ever had, and while I was devastated for days, I realized that I am a good friend. I was always a good friend and being confident is part of moving on and letting go. I know other people will appreciate me for the friend I am, so if someone wants to leave my life and there’s nothing I can do to stop them, there is no reason not to let them leave.