The end of a relationship marks the end of an era. An end to a million tiny, little moments, collectively making up a whole relationship. The end of being able to share every single aspect of your life with that one person. No longer being able to depend on one person to accept you for everything that you are, the qualities that make you amazing beyond anyone else, and the flaws that make you who you are. You might’ve even seen a future and planned a life with that person, dreamed of the Christmas mornings with the matching pajama pants. The profound question is: how do you move on from that? How do you completely fathom that the person you thought you’d be with forever is now nonexistent?
There is no simple equation for moving on from someone who once was your everything or for piecing your heart back together. It really just takes time. It might take a year or it might just take a month. In my experience, it will take longer than expected. The first thought of most people who get out of a relationship is to rebound immediately and I can tell you that is not always the best option. For some, it may work, but if you are thinking of your ex the whole time is it really serving a purpose? I really was at a loss for what to do when my past relationship ended. I didn’t know how to stop thinking about them when everything was a constant reminder of their existence.
It really takes cutting all ties. Yes, even Instagram and Snapchat. Not talking to someone is how you lose touch and eventually lose those emotions. It won’t happen overnight. So, be prepared for the long nights, sitting awake wondering what they are doing or thinking back on the good times.
Probably like many of you, I believed I could rise above the ordinary and stay friends with that person, but I soon discovered it is not sustainable. Someone is getting hurt in the “just friends” scenario, and yes, it is probably you. Every healthy relationship consists of equality; if one person wants something the other doesn’t, it cannot function. You can’t be friends with someone you were in love with right after the relationship ends. The relationship came to an end for a reason; that’s why all contact should end as well. There is no reason to keep letting someone back into your life who truly doesn’t want or deserve to be there.
If only love were that simple though. All rational thought is thrown into the wind and emotion takes over. You want to talk to that person so you send a text. It might just say “hey.” But, sending that one text, will ultimately lead to even more heartbreak. Even responding to a text they sent you will not result in a favoring outcome. Allowing that person to come and go from your life as they please is not the best solution by any means.
That relationship ended for a reason; but, it also happened for a reason. Look back on it and see what qualities you liked about that person and what worked in the relationship. More importantly, taking a step back can help unravel the unhealthy aspects of the relationship.
Overall, your heart is going to heal eventually. Deal with the sadness, but don’t wallow in it. Keep yourself busy on other things and you will move on with time. Start looking forward to the future and the endless possibilities life has to offer. The end to a relationship might seem like the worst thing life has handed you, but when you are old looking at your husband or wife, I guarantee you this “love” you had with that person you are heartbroken over now won’t mean a damn thing.
