My college is in Massachusetts; despite this, many of its graduates move to New York. Whenever I read an article online or watch a movie, it seems like everyone is going to New York. Even my 14-year-old sister finds New York glamorous and loves to ask me questions about it. I had the pleasure this summer of living in Brooklyn for a few months for an internship. While I definitely enjoyed it, I was not sold. And so when I was offered a chance to work for the same company in Brooklyn after graduation, I turned them down. Many college students would kill for a chance to have a well-paying job right out of college in Brooklyn of all places, but I just couldn’t do it.
I had grown up thinking of New York as this magical place where all my dreams would be fulfilled, so when it was time to choose a college, I left the Midwest. However, I soon realized the New York we see in the media is not real. The real New York is overcrowded, dirty, has horrid weather and is expensive. Yes there are jobs, the food is fabulous, the art scene incredible and the culture astounding. But in the end it just wasn’t worth it, at least for me anyways. And so I turned my back on my childish dreams and moved onto something new.
At first I looked at other large cities, I didn’t want to ever come home. And so when anyone asked me if I was coming back after college, I would always laugh, scoff and say no. I was embarrassed to be honest. I didn’t want to come back after I had finally escaped that boring town after 19 years. Never mind the fact I was actually from a decent metro area that was affordable with great food and decent jobs. All of this changed after a series of events. I realized that going home after college is not a failure.
You see there is this belief that we all have to be these perfectly constructed people, with perfect lives, like Carrie Bradshaw and company. This is such a toxic way of thinking and living, though. I lived my entire life believing my only option was to rent a 300 square foot broom closet in New York for several thousand dollars in order to find true happiness. I believed I would have to walk down crowded city streets, alone and lonely with no smiles in order to construct my perfect career and dream life I had been taught was my only option. Never mind the fact that this filled me with anxiety and unease.
There are so many cities to live in besides the glamorous ones. There are also other valid lives to live. And you know what? I would much rather go back to Kansas City and rent a three bedroom bungalow in a prime area filled with young professionals for the low price of like $800 (no that price is not an exaggeration). I would also enjoy being able to see my family occasionally and know that if I was struggling there are always people around who can help me.
The idea of going back home feels like a worn, but incredibly comfy blanket. It’s nice with just the right amount of thrill. I’m OK with this even if it means I am labeled a “failure” because honestly it works for me. It would probably work well for a lot more 20-somethings than they'd care to admit. I just want to say, you’re not a failure if you aren’t living the dream. It’s OK to start off small and take detours to make it to your eventual goals.
What I am trying to articulate is that there are multiple ways to live, don’t feel badly if you don’t choose the most common way. Do what makes you happy, don’t settle for an unpaid internship and a glorified closet somewhere in Manhattan.
