I remember when I left for college, the exhilarating feeling of being free once and for all. I was so excited to finally leave the nest and ‘start my life’ so to say. However, those dreams came crashing down when, mid-November, I knew I had to come home. For the semester that I was away, I struggled with a lot of anxiety, depression, and overall unhappiness about where I was. By the time I finally left, I was a mess. In addition to my mental state being in a horrible place, I also knew that me being away at college was a huge financial strain on my mom. Leaving college was such a difficult decision for me; I was worried I would disappoint my family, that my mom would be angry with me, and that my friends would look down on me. Thankfully, my mom was very encouraging of my choices and all of my friends showed nothing but love and support for me.

In the months after I came home, I realized I was not the only one. Many of my classmates and friends also found that going away to college wasn’t for them and came home as well. With this in mind, I decided to reach out and interview a couple people who went away to college and get their thoughts on why going away to college wasn’t right for them.

How old are you and what college did you attend?

Person A: 18, Berklee College of Music.

Person B: 19, University of the Pacific.

Person C: 19, University of Arizona

Why did you chose the college you ended up attending?

Person A: Well, Berklee College of Music is one of the top music schools in the country and I was very shocked and honored to have gotten in. It was always my dream school and I knew if I got in I was going to go!

Person B: Two of my friends were going there and I was guaranteed my bachelors of science by the end of my fourth year.

Person C: I was recruited for rugby and the college I chose seemed like it would be fun. Some of my friends were going there as well.

Why did you end up leaving?

Person A: It was ultimately a huge culture shock. Boston is a completely different city from where I grew up with my entire life. My mental health hit rock bottom, I wasn't eating, and wasn't taking very good care of myself. I realized that moving back home would be best overall.

Person B: It was too expensive for me to continue going there.

Person C: I came home to save money and actually have time to relax. I needed time to figure out myself and what I wanted.

How long were you at school before you left?

Person A: Only three weeks. But it was very hard.

Person B: I stayed for two semesters.

Person C: I was away for one semester.

Do you have any regrets coming home?

Person A: Not at all, I'm very happy with decision I made. The only thing that I'm a little upset about it disappointing others, but I'm glad I realized that this was about me and a decision that was best for me.

Person B: No I just wish I wouldn't have had to take this semester off [from schooling in general].

Person C: Yes and no. I miss the social aspect of university and playing rugby.

Do you think you'll return to the school you went to? Or do you plan on going somewhere else?

Person A: I'll probably go to another school. I am glad I went and I'm honored to have gotten accepted, but I realized from that experience that I am very much meant for California!

Person B: I wouldn't return to my old school. I'm starting community college in the spring.

Person C: I think I’ll go somewhere else, I’m better elsewhere.

If you could change one thing about your experience, what would it be? Or would you keep everything the same?

Person A: I think I'd keep everything the same...I'm glad with how things have turned out.

Person B: I think my year away at college is an experience I needed to have. It helped me grow up a little more.

Person C: I wouldn’t want to change anything. Sure, I’ll have regrets but it’s my story. If anyone changes that, it’s not my story.

After talking to these people, I realized something important. Almost everyone I talked to, in this interview and beforehand, was scared of disappointing the people closest to them. Each person wanted to continue going to school and finishing their education, but they couldn’t handle the pressure, anxiety, and culture shock that accompanies college. I think that millennials often feel a mountain of pressure to do and be everything that they aren’t, something I know at least I’ve struggled with. Being a young person in this day and age has so many expectations built into it that sometimes it gets to be too much.Before I left, I viewed college as a place that I would finally be able to be myself and be comfortable in my own skin. However, I was met with an overbearing workload, the difficulty of finding a job, the constant pressure to be someone I wasn’t, and the overall shock of now living and going to school in a world completely different than the one that I grew up in.

I hope in the future that young people will realize that going away to college isn't the end all, be all and thinking about what's right for you and where you are is more important than pleasing those around you. The pressure to be perfect is already stressful enough in high school and if you let that follow you into college, you'll never be free of the unrealistic expectations of those around you.