Throughout our lives we love, and with love, comes loss. When I was 12 years old, my family lost a father, husband, brother, and friend. Being such a young girl, lost the first man I ever loved. Shortly after my father's passing my mother completely changed, and taught me lessons that I never would have experienced if she didn’t.
To the mother who chose addiction,
Thank you for showing me how to be strong. The countless nights you spent crying about the life you were living, I spent holding you reminding you that in time things would be better. While you strength faltered I found my own. Being strong for not only you, but for myself too. You weren’t the only one who lost, but I comforted you as if that’s really how it was. I found my strength in helping others, when in all reality I could have used help myself.
Thank you for showing me how to be independent. When you left my brother and I at home for days alone I learned to grow up a little faster than expected, and how to provide for myself. With the little groceries we had, I taught myself to cook, to do my own laundry, and to keep the house that no longer felt like a home clean enough so that occasional guest wouldn’t ask questions.
Thank you for showing how to love. Through your lack of affection I learned more about relationships than I had ever anticipated. You taught me that the love we receive does not have to be a reflection of the love we give. Though I could have grown up with a cold heart, I chose to love others how I want to be loved, and how to love myself. However, your most important lesson on love, might have been that not all relationships workout the way you dream of. With you I always sought out the best, and expected the worst.
Although our relationship has faltered in you choosing your addiction you taught me how to be strong, independent, and how to love myself before I love others. You also taught me that the apple, can fall far from the tree. Without your choices I’m not sure that I would be as successful as I am today. So, to the other who chose addiction, thank you for making me the woman I am today.
