Life is hard.
College is hard. In high school, I got upset with myself for making a 92... now, I find myself rejoicing in making an 85. I'm starting to have anxiety over my grades and schoolwork, something I have never struggled with before.
Being single is hard. All of my friends are getting boyfriends. Meanwhile, the last date I went on was with Ben and Jerry.
Being away from home is hard. I don't mean to sound like a wimp, but I miss my parents' hugs and laughing with my sisters and sleeping in my bed.
Being cool while making good grades and having enough quiet time but also having enough time to do fun things is hard. I constantly feel like I'm missing something or am a step behind everyone else.
And in this season of difficulty, I have started to lean on my own understanding. I've started to rely on myself to fix everything, which leads to even more anxiety and stress and frustration. I've put all the weight on my shoulders, and when I don't feel like I'm measuring up, I beat myself up about it. When your mom isn't there to hug you and your teacher isn't being helpful and you feel like everyone is moving at a speed 10 times faster than you are, who do you turn to?
In Matthew 8, the disciples encounter a storm while out at sea with Jesus. They are literally "swamped by the waves," drowning in a raging sea. And through all of this, Jesus is sleeping.
Doesn't it feel that way at times? When all is going wrong and everything seems to be falling apart, don't you sometimes feel like the Lord is sleeping on you? That for some reason, He decided to overlook your current situation and move on with His business? In this overwhelmingly stressful time in my life, I feel like maybe, just maybe, He's forgotten about me. And you know what He thinks of that?
"Oh, you of little faith."
He is planning on calming the waves. He is planning on bringing you out of the darkness and frustration and despair and into the light and peace. In the beginning of the chapter, a leper approaches Jesus, asking Him to heal him because the Leper KNOWS of His goodness. A centurion comes to the Lord with the knowledge that He can heal one of the centurion's servants. They had no doubt in their mind that Jesus could make all things right, yet here I am, sitting in the boat and feeling like I have to try to fix everything because I doubt that He will.
He is good. His plans for me are good. His love for me is bigger and stronger and sweeter than I know. And while it's easy to say, it's really hard to believe.
I've decided that it's time to have faith. It's time to stop doubting that He'll calm the waves and settle the storm that's going on in my life. It's time for me to stop trying to fix it all on my own and to start leaning on Him to bring me through the hard times. And it's time for you, too, to start trusting His goodness. Life is hard, my friends, but it's even harder when you have no one to calm the waves for you. How lucky we are to have a Savior who wants to make everything right for us.
Be confident in who He is. Be confident in his power and abilities. Be confident in His goodness. Romans 8 says that we are "More than conquerors through Him who loved us." Don't be known as someone with "little faith;" it may seem like He's sleeping on you, but I promise that He will rescue you from the storm and bring you out of the crashing waves.
