So it's 2019 and the New England Patriots have won their *sixth* Super Bowl since 2002. While Patriots fans attribute this trend to the godly presence of Tom Brady, everyone else is blaming the numerous scandals that have arisen in that time (from illegal filming to deflating footballs).
As a Steelers fan, it's hard for me to come to terms with the idea that another team now has six Super Bowl wins (and hey, ours didn't all occur in a 20-year window). Much to the excitement of the Patriots fans and to the dismay of the rest of the American population, here are 10 things that have happened fewer times in the last 20 years than the New England Patriots winning the Super Bowl.
1. The Yankees winning the World Series.
Booooooo. Before all of you Yankee haters complain how the Yankees *always* win the World Series (27 times to be exact), bear in mind that in the last 20 years, the Patriots won the Super Bowl twice as many times as the Yankees won the World Series. As a Yankee fan, that thought is hard for me to digest.
2. Presidential elections.
Elections happen only once a year. So do Super Bowls. Presidential elections happen every four years but it always feels like the presidential position is up for grabs. But something has happened more in the last 20 years. The New England Patriots have won the Super Bowl.
3. Paul McCartney winning a Grammy.
With 18 total Grammy wins, Sir Paul McCartney ranks among the top Grammy winners of all time. However, in the last 20 years, with 21 Grammy nominations, he only actually won 5 of those times. Sorry, but the Patriots have won more Super Bowls in that time period.
4. Women's Marches on Washington.
Okay, yes, these marches only started in 2017 but we have to admit that it feels like these occur rather often. Unfortunately, it will still take another 3 years before there will be as many Women's Marches as there are Patriot Super Bowl wins. So, ladies, we might need to arrange more of these marches in a year.
5. Kim Kardashian marrying someone new.
While Kardashian relationships seem to change like the weather, it may come as a shocker that Kim Kardashian (whose relationships *never* seem to work out) has only been married 3 times in the last 20 years. Well, something has happened twice as many times in that time span: the New England Patriots taking home a Super Bowl trophy.
6. A female winning American Idol while it was still on Fox.
If you limit American Idol to only include the seasons it was on Fox before it rebooted 2 years later, there were 10 male winners and 5 female winners from 2002 to 2016. Unfortunately, that shows a bias against all the talented ladies who were on the show. Even more unfortunately, there were more Patriot wins in the last 20 years than female American Idol wins during its original run.
7. Jupiter revolving around the sun.
A revolution on Jupiter takes nearly 12 years. So in the last 2 decades on Earth, Jupiter has barely made 2 revolutions. Maybe we should force the Patriots to move to Jupiter. That way, their "annual" Super Bowl wins will be 12 years apart for us.
8. University of Alabama claiming a National Title.
If you want to talk about another football team that always wins, before you whine about University of Alabama, remember that they only have five National Titles in the last 20 years. They're beat. The Patriots have six.
9. Michael Phelps appearing in the Olympics.
Because, although he has appeared in every Summer Olympics in the last 20 years, we also have to remember that there were less Summer Olympics than there were Patriots wins in that time. He needs to stay out of retirement so he has more Olympic appearances than Patriot Super Bowl wins.
10. Leap years.
So all the poor souls who were born on February 29th have only gotten to celebrate five actual birthdays in the last 20 years while all of you Patriots fans get to celebrate more Super Bowl wins in that time period. If you have more Super Bowl wins in a time period than people have birthdays, I would say it's about time to give another team a chance!