My mom and I haven't always seen eye to eye. Especially in high school and middle school, us arguing or disagreeing was a dinner table staple. I never seemed to want to agree with or believe in what she had to say when it came to my future or the situations I was in at the time, and looking back, I really wish I would've listened more.
It's really common for moms and their daughters to fight and argue, so our situation wasn't outstanding or truly horrible in any way. However, as I've grown in life and learning, I've come to find my mom's advice always helping to guide me, and she has become the first person I call whenever I have a problem of any kind. So, here are the areas of advice my mom has helped me the most in, and why I'm grateful for the advice she gave before when I wasn't listening and now when I am.
As expected, my mom has given me the best advice when it comes to personal matters. Relationships, my ideas for my future, my health, the whole package. She's given me at least two pieces of advice I try to uphold every single day, and that I'm always using in my approach when asked for advice from other people. My mom had much more life experience than I did at my age, and I never seemed to consider that when I was an angsty high schooler who thought my parents didn't understand me. My mom's main priority has always been to see me and my brother happy, and I truly believe none of her advice for either of us has been for some kind of self-interest.
My mom will always tell me when I'm screwing up not because it reflects badly on our family, but because she believes I'm capable of a lot more. Having that support system from my whole family, but my parents especially, that doesn't just blindly accept and applaud everything you do is what "tough love," is. It took me so long to appreciate her viewpoints on these different aspects of my life, especially the ones that were so personal for me, but now I'm glad I started understanding her viewpoints and taking her advice. Otherwise, I don't think I'd be nearly as happy or comfortable in who I am and how my life is going.
I think the best advice my mom has ever given me was to accept failures and mistakes and just use them as lessons for the next time.
I've always been someone who dwelled too long on what could've been or what changes I could have made in order for a situation of any kind to turn out better in my favor. But my mom has always reminded me that what happened can't just be changed, and it's best to just let go and move on with better prospects knowing what went wrong.
My mom's perspective on mistakes took so long to accept, but as I entered college, as cliche as it sounds, I realized just how important her perspective is. College was a whole new ballgame from me, and I found myself struggling to let go of my failures and shortcomings, and in doing so, letting myself get held back from personal growth as a result. The change wasn't easy, and I still grapple with accepting my shortcomings for what they are and overcoming them, but I'm trying as hard as I can, and there has been no motivator for me than my mom through all of it.
Neither of my parents has ever stopped loving me or my brother for the mistakes we've made in our lives, and I know I've made a lot of mistakes. My mom was always the one I seemed to be in conflict with growing up though, and seeing how much our relationship has changed as I've gotten older has made me more grateful for her role in my life than I already was. After almost twenty years, I finally stopped and listened to my mom's advice instead of my own, and I've found myself a million times happier and grateful as a result.